Top 66 Bill Hader Quotes

I’m never going to say, ‘Well, I’m never going to do comedy again.’ I love comedies, and it’s what people know me for, so I love doing it… I don’t really think about it in terms of ‘Well, I should do this because it’s comedy or drama.’

I’m a huge fan of Simon Pegg and Nick Frost.

‘Vanity Fair’ did this grid thing a couple years ago, connecting people who’ve worked together, and I had the most branches on it or whatever, because I’d worked with so-and-so and so-and-so worked with so-and-so, and I was kind of in the middle.

People ask me, ‘Did you always want to be on SNL?’ No, actually, it never crossed my mind. It didn’t even seem possible. It would’ve been like saying, ‘Hey, do you wanna go to the moon?’

I have a lot of incomplete short films and incomplete scripts out there.

My wife and I were on our honeymoon in Turks and Caicos, in the middle of nowhere, and I’m sitting on this deserted beach, and I see one lone person walking along the shore. He walks right up to me and says, ‘I love ‘Laser Cats,’ and then just walks away.

I saw ‘A Clockwork Orange’ when I was 11. When you watch ‘Clockwork Orange’ at 11, it either totally scares you from watching movies, or you want to become a filmmaker. I was the latter.

My first real job, I sold Christmas trees when I was twelve for extra money. I did that until I was fifteen. Then I bagged groceries, and I worked at the first Borders ever in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

I’m very close to my sisters.

In the U.S., it’s like, you start with a great script, and then on set – not everybody, but definitely in the Apatow group – you go off, and you’re improvising on camera. So while you’re on camera, you’re saying things that no one else has ever heard before during the actual take.

I’ve seen people who come to work say, ‘No, I’m doing it this way, and that’s that.’ I’m the opposite – I like being out of my element; it’s where I like to live.

Comedy is incredibly hard. You have to be loose. You have to be not afraid to fail.

If a movie doesn’t even have financing yet, they’ll do a table read for it at a casting director’s office with actors, for the producer and the writer, just to hear if the movie is working.

I don’t like the sound of my voice or how I look or anything.

I like when you are telling a story and fall into an impression.

There’s a movie called ‘Pod People’ that has a weird little anteater alien. That was a good alien.

I was in a sketch group in L.A., and we were playing, like, backyards in Glendale and stuff. It was pretty ugly because we didn’t have any money.

When you’re at your absolute, most exhausted… That’s when you have to be at the top of your game.

I’ve never met Charlie Sheen.

Oddly enough, I have really bad stage fright – getting up in front of people. And I made a living going on live television.

I remember I could do – I did Bart Simpson once on the bus. I did, like, a really good Bart Simpson voice on the bus, obviously before I hit puberty. And everybody went, ‘Whoa, that sounds just like Bart Simpson.’

Yeah, improvising only really works 100% when you’re with somebody.

I met Robin Williams a few times, and he was a beautiful guy.

I would say it wasn’t until my fourth season on ‘SNL’ where people or my agent was saying, ‘You’re an actor.’ I never thought of it that way.

Getting ‘SNL’ was pretty amazing, so just to be able to have an eight-year career there and be really happy with everything I did, it was pretty big.

I was offered a lot of supporting crazy parts in comedies because that’s all I had done.

Paul Rudd is a huge ‘Hot Rod’ fan.

I really liked John Candy in ‘Planes, Trains & Automobiles.’ He was so good in that movie.

At the beginning of each week at ‘Saturday Night Live,’ we have a full cast meeting where Lorne Michaels introduces the upcoming host.

Fred Willard still makes me laugh.

You learn quickly at ‘SNL’ you get in trouble if you compare yourself to other people, where they’re at, or what other people had done before you.

If you can’t forgive yourself, you think you’re never going to be able to forgive yourself, and you repeat the same behavior.

For our anniversary, my wife and I went to see Godzilla, and then we ate at Barnyard Venice, and it was like, ‘We are crazy! The Kardashians have to keep up with us!’

I get migraines a lot. I get them when I’m stressed out. My brain freezes, and I just try to get through that.

I tried to get people at ‘South Park’ into ‘Downton Abbey,’ and it didn’t work. I think they were like, ‘Downton Abbey?’ What?’ And I kinda made a big plea in the writer’s room, like, ‘Guys, you should really watch it. It’s good. It’s addicting. My wife and I are obsessed with it.’

Pete Davidson – he’s in the movie ‘Trainwreck.’ He has a small part in it. I told Lorne Michaels about him, said he was really funny.

Las Vegas, New Mexico has had a lot of great movies shot there.

‘Superbad’ was such a personal movie.

I moved out to L.A. to be a filmmaker or director. I didn’t even think about doing comedy or even acting. I wanted to be like Paul Thomas Anderson or Wes Anderson, but I wasn’t going to a lot of comedy.

I never resented anybody for being successful.

Turns out typecasting is a real thing.

I don’t think I could do what Woody Allen or Clint Eastwood or Ben Stiller do, where they direct a movie and they star in it. I would just be like, ‘Oh, I don’t even want to look at my face.’

I was a production assistant in the post department on ‘The Surreal Life.’ And it’s been reported before that I was an assistant editor on ‘The Surreal Life.’ That is not true.

I’ve always admired Jeff Bridges. I really like how one can never get a handle on what he’s doing.

When I met Judd Apatow, he told me I should start writing screenplays. They’d be really bad at first, but the more I did it, the better I’d get.

Seth Meyers and I wrote a ‘Spider-Man’ comic.

You know what, I remember being on my T-ball team and telling people about ‘Platoon.’

I had a small part in ‘Pineapple Express.’

I’m always up before everybody else. I also crash at 3 o’clock when everybody’s at their prime.

When I got to ‘Saturday Night Live,’ it was a lot like going from pre-school to Harvard, and it took a long time to figure stuff out.

I really enjoyed playing Vinny Vedecci, the Italian talk show host. He was the first character I ever came up with where I gave him a name and a way of dressing.

Top Ten lists make me insane. I just know they’re going to change daily.

I worked at a movie theater in Tempe, Arizona, when I went to community college there. And I got fired because a sorority had rented out a theater to watch ‘Titanic,’ and they were being really rude to me while they were waiting for the movie. So as I tore their tickets, I told them the end of the movie.

I loved growing up in Tulsa.

A lot of times I think people, when they’re doing a movie that’s a family movie, they’re worried about this being too esoteric or too dark or too weird.

I learned a lot just watching people perform.

I was never that good on stage with live improv. I was much better on film or writing something and then thinking about it. I was too in my head when I was on stage.

Everything is so tech now; everyone is so connected that way.

I was at Second City L.A., going through the conservatory, and I graduated in 2004 and I got ‘SNL’ in 2005.

If I get a chance to write a comic book or do a voice in an Adult Swim show, I do it. It’s much more fulfilling to me and I get to work with people who I’m a fan of.

When you’re performing, you’re playing to the back row. With acting, you have to be more nuanced.

The first time I met James Franco, he was dressed like James Dean. He was James Dean, literally, filming a biopic.

I think that’s the thing I learned at ‘Saturday Night Live’ – any time I would try and strategize, I would always, always fall on my face. Things worked out when I tried to make it about what I was feeling at that moment and what I was into in that moment of my life.

Let’s face it: I look pretty out of shape.

I set the time on my iPhone to be 30 minutes late, so I’m only an hour and a half late to appointments now.

David Sedaris is so good that it makes me mad.