Top 66 Jennifer Coolidge Quotes

When you leave L.A. and go to another city, guys are normal again. They like girls their own age.

I dated a guy who played bad guys in movies all the time, and I think he was just a bad guy.

I’m so lucky I got a career in my 30s because these young girls aren’t allowed to have their 20s. It’s all being documented.

I love that topic, the whole relationship thing, and I think that’s why I love all this stuff, the Jane Austen stuff.

I love Australia, and I especially love those rugby players.

I always get excited when I find out there’s a sequel, because all the work is kind of done.

I always feel in movies, I don’t know if it’s because I’m jaded, but I always feel like we don’t go far enough.

I don’t think men really fall in love with the outspoken girl.

A man’s ability to haggle is never a turn-on. The only thing less romantic than how much you paid is how much you saved. The last thing we want to hear is how you talked the jeweler down on our new earrings.

Thank God for Stifler’s mom. I don’t know if life would be this fun if I didn’t have that.

When I go on ‘The View,’ or any of those talk shows, you really don’t get to say what you want to say.

When people slave over those scripts and pay hundreds of thousands of dollars for them, they don’t usually want you to add farts.

The odd things that people say to you are so much more hilarious than what you can come up with.

I’ve played a lot of weird women. I play crazy ladies, and I’ve played a lot of insane women and weird best friends that are not sexually desirable.

I play so many weirdos in movies that it’s nice to play an attractive woman.

I always date younger men. For some reason that’s just the way it’s gone, because younger guys have always asked me out and I accept.

I have the improv background, but stand-up is different.

Stand-up is a weird animal. There are people who really want to know what you think about things, your opinion on life. But then there are people who think you’re just that beautician in ‘Legally Blonde,’ who doesn’t have opinions on anything. Or that I’m Stifler’s mom and hot for it all the time.

I would say 90 percent of the scripts that show up on my door are women who have had lots of plastic surgery that are married to rich men – sort of a trophy wife.

I always like to get a role where I think, ‘Ah, I know this is probably going to be played like this, but I’m going to do it like this.’

I do love to gamble; I hate to admit it.

Keri Russell is one of the prettiest girls I’ve ever seen in my life. She’s one of those girls that doesn’t have that thing when you walk into the trailer in the morning, and your face is all bashed in – like a lot of actors, even the beautiful and handsome ones.

I’ve been many people. I’ve been the skinny girl. I’ve been the fat girl. Because I’ve become a character actress, I sort of fell victim to ‘Well, I don’t have to look good anymore.’

To be honest, sometimes I’m horrified because you don’t really know what you look like. If I really knew what I was doing on-screen, I would try to stop doing it.

A lot of those good-looking girl parts aren’t very fun.

Las Vegas honors women – Celine Dion, Bette Midler, Britney Spears. I love that Las Vegas celebrates women.

Cate Blanchett and others, they get this broad range of all these cool people they can play. Some women really do get it all. For me, it is the same thing that happens over and over. I should change that and maybe write my own thing.

When you’re on this major English estate, breathing in the English air, and it’s untouched, you can feel its presence. It’s a whole different feel. It really felt like we were there living it. It didn’t feel modern, ever.

I hate Spanx.

I can’t get the serious roles. People don’t see me that way.

I’m kind of harsher than most people.

I figured New York was the closest I’d get here in America to Scotland.

Meryl Streep was my hero. I wanted to be that type of actor more than anything.

When you’re an actress, there are only a few times you can really get paid. One of them is doing a sequel. They can’t fake you or hire another actor to play you.

I have been able to sniff out a phony.

‘Best in Show’ legitimized me, and it was a great experience in Vancouver for six weeks with all those dogs!

I think I get credit for my timing because most of the time, I really have no idea where I’m going with it.

I do have to say, there is this incredible benefit to being older. I never thought I’d say that. I’ve figured out that show business isn’t the end-all. I thought I’d never be tired of Hollywood, of the experience, and I have to say there’s some relief. As you get older, your taste changes.

Werner Herzog, when I auditioned for ‘Bad Lieutenant,’ he had never seen any of my films. He thought I was this actress living in New Orleans and it was my first job.

Short of spending $10,000, there is nothing you can do to your head to hide the fact that you’re going bald.

There are some people who make you feel less lonely.

The one thing that has helped sustain my career as an actress and a comedian is that people generally view me as fundamentally stupid.

Usually, when you’re an actress, you have to audition 20 times.

Dating is… weird.

The best thing about animated-feature people is that they are very laid-back people. You feel like you’re showing up for a backyard barbecue.

Hugh Grant has that magic in real life, so when he’s saying these lines, ‘It’s always been you,’ it’s just devastating.

When I walk into a video arcade filled with 16- or 17-year-old boys, I may as well be Marilyn Monroe.

If I wasn’t an actress and I wasn’t Stifler’s mom, my life would be so dull.

The standup thing has been really fun, really seeing the United States instead of reading about it.

It was always the cliche of men leaving their wives for younger women. The playing field is sort of even now. Women make their own salaries. They can do the exact same thing and can have a younger man.

I live in New Orleans part of the year, and it’s a really fun eating town. I bought two homes there, one to live in and one as an investment. They love to eat, drink and dress up in costumes. There are so many reasons to dress up – Mardi Gras, Halloween, Southern Decadence.

I’m not a prude.

No one purposefully paints a bad painting. It’s someone who’s trying to do a good painting, but it’s terrible. I have one with a matador, and the bull is going through the blanket. You can tell the painter didn’t know how to paint it.

I’m so vain, all I could think was I should have stopped at ‘American Pie.’

I read a script and I know immediately whether that role is for me or not.

Younger guy are attracted to a strong quality.

It’s a great compliment when the beautiful ones laugh.

People have this view, ‘Oh, you’re in movies, your life is so glamorous’ but it can really suck.

I wanted to be a dramatic actress. Life doesn’t go the way you think it’s going to go.

I was like a waitress that got a job once in a while, and then Stifler’s mom happened, and everything changed.

A boyfriend has so much to do with a woman blossoming.

I’ve made a career of taking roles that other actresses didn’t want.

Girls are supposed to be feminine and demure. Comedy isn’t about that, so you just have to unlearn it. Certain women are so pretty, they can’t go weird enough to be funny. You have to be willing to be ugly. I’m lucky my face can look so hideous.

I wasn’t allowed to watch regular television when I was growing up, only PBS, so I watched ‘Masterpiece Theatre’ and a lot of Jane Austen. I loved stories where the girl is attracted to a man and it looks like it’s not going to work out.

You get the older version of women that you’ve played before.

I wasn’t funny. My brother was the funny one in the family.