Top 70 Melissa McCarthy Quotes

If somebody’s doing something, and you’re laughing, and at the same time you’re so embarrassed for them, it’s my absolute kind of favorite type of laugh.

I wanted to be a drag queen so badly. I’ll bet I still own more wigs than any drag queen – I love me a wig.

My parents are kind and accepting. Because so many of my friends were gay, it was just an accepted thing in my house. I was very lucky.

I have blocks of wood all over my house; I spend all of my day knocking!

I went to school for clothing and textiles and thought this is what I was going to do. Then I started working in costumes and literally said, ‘I don’t know if I can take the actors.’

As a teenager I went all Goth, but I wasn’t mopey enough. I would pretend to be, but I’d end up making people laugh.

I should be learning another language and working out more, but I’m just always saying, ‘Ah, I could get hit by a bus tomorrow.’

When I read a character that I really, really love, I know immediately what they look like. It’s like I want to 100 percent become that person.

There are a lot of funny women in my life. I never understand those movies where there’s eight funny guys and two women who don’t have any opinion or humour.

I didn’t wear jeans for, like, a decade of my life.

I will embarrass my kids to their core. I will threaten to show up in hot pants and a tube top. Their dad will drive me. And he’ll let me and my friend Lisa get pretty drunk in the backseat, and we will come into that party and just rip it up.

Nothing’s more charming than someone who doesn’t take herself too seriously.

I think the whole reason I act is because it’s much more fun to be somebody else. I’m pretty boring.

I think there are people who really love the comfort of their small town, and there are people who feel stuck by it.

I just think we tear down women in this country for all these superficial reasons, and women are so great and strong.

I’ve never felt like I needed to change. I’ve always thought, ‘If you want somebody different, pick somebody else.’ But sure, criticism can sometimes still get to me. Some things are so malicious, they knock the wind out of you.

I refuse to give energy to the negative. I’ve got a great fella and two great little girls.

My back was just destroyed after pregnancy. I almost had to have surgery, until I did Pilates and rebuilt my body.

Somebody ripped their pants open at my wedding, dipping my mother. My mother is not a lady who throws herself into a dip that often, so I don’t think he thought she was really going to do it.

I love a house project.

Comedy to me is all about the bumps and bruises and weird tics.

Ben and I have absolutely nothing to do with the Hollywood that’s all actors and the Sunset Strip. We crave talking to people who do different things and are passionate about it.

I’m very boring. But I’m a bit obsessed with women that are so incredibly solid in their shoes that they don’t care what other people think of them. I just think there’s something so interesting about that kind of confidence.

I have an overactive sense of justice. I want women to realize you don’t have to work for the company. You can run the company. I want the scope for them to be endless.

I want to be healthy.

I’ve grown to love L.A., but it’s the most socially awkward place. All these people have come there not to be something but to pretend to be someone trying to be someone.

I’m obsessed with ‘Call The Midwife.’

The average size of a woman is 14.

I love to watch someone who just goes for it and isn’t worried about whether it’s silly or awkward or unflattering.

In terms of the characters I think are really fun to play, a lot of times it’s someone in my head saying ‘I know that woman.’

I’m not a great pregnant woman.

I feel intensely guilty for working… You have to be able to provide for your kids. But I feel like it’s a weird modern phenomenon that you always feel guilty for it.

Once you start writing a character visually, you’re in trouble.

I think everything that any actor does, I would assume, is shaped by how and where they grew up.

I’m always tinkering with something – suddenly I’ll think I can work with wood, but then I’ll realize I can’t, so I go back to sewing.

I was never sullen. I was a terrible punk – I was still so chatty.

Everybody’s a train wreck in their own very special way. But there’s something wildly freeing about someone who’s unapologetic, who knows they’re a wreck and doesn’t even try to hide it, just bulldozes through life.

Ben and I live like hermits. The night of a concert, we’ll be like, ‘Do you think we can get tickets?’ And everybody is like, ‘No, why didn’t you do this earlier?’

I do think comedy needs to be a living thing, but I think without a great script and fully realized characters, you cannot keep it living. Otherwise, it just becomes long and rambling, indulgent. So I think you need both, frankly.

I don’t really know why I’m not thinner than I am.

I’m not a crazy germophobe; I have kids, and that ship has sailed.

I feel like I got hit with a lucky stick.

Since grade school, I focused on women’s clothing.

When I go shopping, most of the time I’m disappointed.

I didn’t really know how to write jokes, so I just told weird, long stories about being tall and beautiful and wealthy in New York. I’d tell them very seriously, but I kind of looked like a drag queen at the time with big wigs and crazy 12-inch platform heels.

Famous doesn’t mean anything. Just because people know my face doesn’t mean they know us or that it makes us any more interesting or better.

I just figure if it has my name on it, and I want to make people feel good about wearing it, I can’t pass it off.

It’s funny; as I get older I’m reverting to my roots – I want to plant stuff.

I am not a princess, I don’t want to be referred to as a princess – I find that super creepy.

Sometimes I wish I were just magically a size 6 and I never had to give it a single thought.

I’m like a three-and-a-half, four-hour-a-night sleeper. It’s not enough to function.

When I was 22, I met with some janky manager, and she told me, ‘You’re never going to work at this weight.’ I think I was a size 6 at the time. There is just this weird thing about how we perceive women in this country. I would love to be a part of breaking that down.

We have some of the most rock-solid, lovely friends in the world.

I’ve watched women being hideously unattractive, personality-wise and physically, all the time. But these women never end up on screen.

I want to make each piece of clothing work 15 different ways.

I don’t sleep, but I’ve got two little kids that don’t sleep, either.

I have caught my reflection and thought, ‘Oof. That girl is struggling. That girl is tired.’ I’ve had mornings where I’m like, ‘Oh God, I have weird hair.’

I’m certainly not shy, but I like playing it because I love those characters that are incredibly confident but really still a mess.

We’re a weird bunch at ‘Mike & Molly.’ We go to work, and we’re crazy about each other, and we love where we go to work.

I love the juxtaposition of a sweet little blouse with a motocross look.

I loved the playfulness of fashion. I think maybe that’s why I became an actress. You put on one outfit and feel one way, and another one will make you feel another way. Clothes are a wonderful tool.

I’m really happy in my life.

I believe in Heaven. I don’t believe that this is it, and then we’re done.

I could eat healthier; I could drink less.

Jason Statham is funny, I never knew that.

To me, having 500 rolls of fabric around is the most calming thing in the world. I think it’s what football is to some guys.

I make a mean coconut macaroon.

At some point in the past, it was decided that women in comedy are never supposed to be shown in an unflattering light. But in comedy, you need all of your tools to be funny.

The goal was to work enough to pay my bills and stop going through the couch looking for change. Going way beyond that isn’t something I really factored in.

Funny is funny, and it can come in 8 billion different shades and flavors, so I think it’s silly to kind of limit it.