You know the quickest way to get comedians to hate you? Do Letterman at age 24.
Prose is all about embellishing and describing.
It used to be that if you got on ‘The Tonight Show,’ your career was made. Now, if you’re on ‘The Tonight Show,’ maybe 14 more people show up to your gig in Tulsa.
The moment I walk into a room, I have kind of like the Terminator’s tracking system for where the food is, and I can get there immediately.
You have to be delusional to be a comedian.
Comedy unites, it doesn’t divide!
One of my favorite comedies of all time is ‘Terms of Endearment;’ that’s my pace.
Pain is funnier than love.
When I was growing up, I didn’t know who Jewish people were, what it was to be Jewish.
There’s something about small venues that’s amazing for developing material. It’s almost like you can not only hear people’s response, but you can understand it. In bigger venues you lose that, but you gain this sense of camaraderie in the audience.
I’m incapable of feeling any joy.
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