Top 75 Monkey Quotes

When I would be myself, I was being big-headed. I was being egotistical. I was a megalomaniac, when it really was just having not to be a monkey for a few hours a day. And fulfilling the need to be a man.

You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but you can only make a monkey out of the voters every four years!

Dance Monkey’ showed me that I’m good enough.

The first movie I ever saw was a blaxploitation movie. It was called ‘Monkey Hustle.’ Like I said, just listen to the name. That’s a blaxploitation movie. It had these incredible, bigger-than-life images of people who looked like I did. Or who looked like I wanted to look like.

I’m not very good at being a performing monkey.

I learned the way a monkey learns – by watching its parents.

Jayalalitha is a performing monkey in the hands of Sasikala.

Young people are intimidating. But I really want them to like me. There is something about a group of teens that turns me into a performing monkey.

My favorite special skill on my resume is ‘excellent monkey noises.’

First and foremost, at drama school it gets drilled into you that you say yes to anything. If they say, can you tap-dance with a monkey on your head in your audition, you say yes.

The poor monkey, quietly seated on the ground, seemed to be in sore trouble at this display of anger.

God, George Bush makes me want to slash my wrists. He’s so embarrassing I have to leave the room when he’s on the news. What a monkey.

The mind is a monkey, hopping around from thought to thought, image to image. Rarely do more than a few seconds go by in which the mind can remain single-pointed, empty.

I wrote the very first stories in science fiction which dealt with homosexuality, The World Well Lost and Affair With a Green Monkey.

I can do a really loud monkey call. I can put both my legs behind my back. And I can stick my fist in my mouth.

My favorite emoji is definitely the sad face, like the ‘See, I’m sorry’ sad face, which I use all the time… Or the monkey face, where he’s covering his eyes.

A father and two sons run Adelphia. It’s a cable company. And they took from that company a billion dollars. A billion. Three people – three people took a billion dollars. What were they gonna do, start their own space program? ‘Let’s send the monkey to Mars, Dad!’

I swear by that old expression, ‘One monkey don’t stop no show!’ The reality is, we still have some good men out there, and we should hail those men as the kings they are.

I get burned out on standup. But I like acting. I do like it. But sometimes you just feel like a monkey. You just feel like a complete tool. But I like it. I do like it. Stand-up is just more free. A lot more freedom because you just do what you want to do.

It is not so important to be serious as it is to be serious about the important things. The monkey wears an expression of seriousness which would do credit to any college student, but the monkey is serious because he itches.

I’ve performed in Japan before, as well as many other non-English speaking countries. I find you really just have to be a bit more animated than usual. Call-and-response routines work well, if they are simple. Otherwise, I just dance around like a circus monkey and hope the crowd feels it.

Friends didn’t believe me when I told them about him, so I’d invite them over on Saturdays to watch the monkey watch TV.

I could have my hair really short. I didn’t have to wear dresses, I could wear baggy old T-shirts and ripped trousers and monkey boots and I was desirable to boys that were into the same stuff.

You never monkey with the truth.

The character of the monkey just grew from something out of his face and my granddad’s personality. They fused, and that’s what I ended up with! The monkey belonged to a friend of mine, and I saw that it had such a little beguiling face and it grew from there.

People have always called me Schneider Monkey just because of my energy and mass consumption of bananas. Plus, I just love monkeys, so I thought, ‘Well, I love monkeys, I love my fans, why not put the two together?’

One of my main problems with music is that the basic formula is always the same: verse, chorus, verse, chorus, bridge, verse, chorus, chorus, chorus, end. One of the bands that changed that was The Beatles. If you listen to ‘Everybody’s Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey.’ It’s three verses, bridge, end.

If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?

Many of us grew up with colourful characters such as Tony the Tiger, Coco the Monkey and Ronald McDonald. These figures were designed to market products – from sugary breakfast cereals to hamburgers – to children.

For me, some things, like, I just don’t want to know what they are before I eat them. Like, if you’re going to start feeding me, like, sexual organs of animals, or, like, a monkey’s brain or something – I’ll eat it. Just don’t tell me what it is until after I’ve finished it.

I think life would be so much funnier if every day you saw someone walking down the street getting hit in the head by a monkey, don’t you?

Yes, I’ve kissed a lot of guys. I like to kiss, but that’s it. I don’t go home with anyone. I sleep with my animals, like my baby monkey, Brigitte Bardot.

If Man United and Liverpool fans feel better by calling me a black monkey in my messages… feel free to carry on if it makes your day better.

During the writing process, I tend not to listen to too much music. I obviously wear a lot of influences on my sleeve, but if I was listening to too many records, I would turn into too much of a monkey.

I got really lucky that at age 12, I knew I just wanted to be a dancing monkey in front of people and entertain them, or try to. It’s amazing that at age 12 I realized what a needy life I was gonna have.

She is like a monkey virus and will infect you and bleed you dry after you’ve given her too much personal information, and no reaction, word or deed from Courtney Love should surprise anyone.

The first book I could call mine, my first book, was a picture book, ‘The Magic Monkey’ – it was adapted from an old Chinese legend by a thirteen-year-old prodigy named Plato Chan with the help of his sister.

I was a monkey child. I was like a clown.

I love going into the centre of London because people don’t give a monkey’s about you or who you are. You can be in a restaurant and no one notices you or if they do they won’t show it.

Life is like the monkey bars: you have to let go to move forward. Once you make the decision to leap into entrepreneurship, be sure to loosen your grasp on old concepts so you can swing your way to new ones.

I became fascinated with the concept of speak no, see no, hear no evil. And – and the actual depiction of three wise monkeys. And I began collecting it over the years. And I kind of figured that I might be the – the fourth monkey, the feel no evil monkey.

It does get old to have to always be a monkey in a zoo. I don’t know what it’s like any more to be anonymous.

An American monkey, after getting drunk on brandy, would never touch it again, and thus is much wiser than most men.

Since I first got my iPhone and ‘Super Monkey Ball’ came out, I was like, ‘Oh my gosh, this is great.’ I’m always searching for the nirvana of mobile gaming, whether that’s from a Game Boy or a Vita or a PSP or now the Switch.

The responses of the baby monkey are very similar to those of a human baby.

As a child, I loved to climb on the tree, like a monkey.

We are all a tiger with feelings. An elephant who never forgets. We are tiger, panther, monkey – we are all of these things, all of the life rhythms.

People go to the zoo and they like the lion because it’s scary. And the bear because it’s intense, but the monkey makes people laugh.

I’ve been in the business 60 years, and it’s taken me this long to play a scene with a monkey. That’s what happens if you stick around.

Every woman’s path is difficult, and many mothers were as equipped to raise children as wire monkey mothers. I say that without judgment: It is, sadly, true. An unhealthy mother’s love is withering.

For a while, the world for me was like a set of monkey bars. I swung from one place to the next, sometimes backward, sometimes forward, capitalizing on my own momentum, knowing that at some point my arms… would give out, and I’d fall to the ground.

Poetry, it is often said and loudly so, is life’s true mirror. But a monkey looking into a work of literature looks in vain for Socrates.

Perry Farrell is so gross, and his wife looks like a monkey.

My dream pet? I like a couple of them, man: monkey, I love dogs. See, tigers, I don’t know – I can’t be playing with something like that. A monkey, I can handle it. A dog, yeah; I would get a monkey.

The problem is to keep the monkey mind from running off into all kinds of thoughts.

I have a lot of funny friends, though not everyone’s funny all the time. Doon Mackichan’s my funniest friend in the pub; Nina Conti’s the funniest with a monkey.

Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.