Top 75 Old Lady Quotes

When I’m an old lady, I’m going to have my pick of the young men. They’ll be like, ‘She’s Miss Mary Jane!’ The young boys will think I’m a hot old lady.

If New York is a wise guy, Paris a coquette, Rome a gigolo and Berlin a wicked uncle, then London is an old lady who mutters and has the second sight. She is slightly deaf, and doesn’t suffer fools gladly.

The studios gotta start making more stuff where black folks get quality stuff. But I can’t trip about that because I’ve been making movies for 35 years, and I’ve played everything from an old lady to a donkey, so I can’t be on here talking about, ‘They don’t give us enough roles’ and diversity.

I still have my eyes on the prize: I want to be that old lady onstage shaking her hips and singing her greatest hits.

One day, I’ll be a crazy old lady with long rainbow hair living in the woods. I will have a rad tree house with tons of rooms for people to come over, recharge, and make art.

It sounds kind of farfetched, yet I can’t tell you how many people have had this syndrome… the ‘Old Hag Syndrome.’ Apparently, there’s this little old lady who comes into your room at night, sits on your chest and tries to suffocate you. You can Google her – she’ll pop up. She’s out there.

I don’t feel like me unless I have my hair shaved. So even when I’m an old lady, I’m going to have it.

My secret world had been invaded, and the attractive figure of Tiptree – he did strike several people as attractive – was revealed as nothing but an old lady in Virginia.

I think there’s still this huge glass ceiling for women owning sexuality. And especially young women. If you’re an old lady like me, I can do anything now.

Don’t say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream.

The studios gotta start making more stuff where black folks get quality stuff. But I can’t trip about that because I’ve been making movies for 35 years, and I’ve played everything from an old lady to a donkey, so I can’t be on here talking about, ‘They don’t give us enough roles’ and diversity.

When you’re a kid, helping an old lady across the street is kind of cute. But when you’re an adult, it’s just plain creepy.

Sometimes in my class I have people come in and do monologues inspired by people they know and I always find that to be useful to do specifics about somebody and then you’re actually doing a character and not doing some random old lady or something.

I intend to be making films until I’m an old lady. So, if God willing I get there, I need to create a paradigm for myself where I can make it regardless of whether or not they still like what I’m making.

My best friend and I go to bed at 11 o’clock. We have such old lady schedules. Everyone’s always like, ‘Let’s go out!’ And we’re always like, ‘No, we don’t want to.’ They call us the grandmas. L.A. can get really old really quickly if you waste your life away in a club all night.

I had my fortune told once at the Great Wall of China. A withered old lady told my fortune – but it was probably one of these things that are set up to rip off tourists. She told me a couple of vague things that came true, but she was probably just lucky. I would never do it again.

The grand old lady of bluegrass? Well, wouldn’t that be a wonderful title to have? I hope I do enough to earn it some day.

My older brother gave me a cassette tape of Mr. Bungle, and I couldn’t stop listening to it. I used to drive around Colorado in a Mustang II – it was when they got away from the muscle-car Mustangs, so it was sort of old lady. I couldn’t go above 45 mph in that car, but I would drive around listening to Mr. Bungle.

Women in mystery fiction were largely confined to little old lady snoops – amateur sleuths – who are nurses, teachers, whatever.

What could be more beautiful than a dear old lady growing wise with age? Every age can be enchanting, provided you live within it.

My best friend and I go to bed at 11 o’clock. We have such old lady schedules. Everyone’s always like, ‘Let’s go out!’ And we’re always like, ‘No, we don’t want to.’ They call us the grandmas. L.A. can get really old really quickly if you waste your life away in a club all night.

I have wonderful friends. I’m not just a lonely old lady.

I feel like an old lady; my hero is Miss Marple.

I sometimes fantasize about being an old lady, when you can say the truth that everyone else is thinking and no one is saying.

I realize that I’m a mature woman and one of these days, incredible diet or not, I’ll be a little old lady.

There is only one thing wrong about the Flo Hyman Award: it came to be named for the Old Lady of Volleyball much too soon.

I learned to drive when I was 35. I’m driving like an old lady and very close to the wheel. I don’t take many risks, and when people yell at me I say ‘sorry, sorry, sorry!’ I don’t have road rage yet.

Sometimes in my class I have people come in and do monologues inspired by people they know and I always find that to be useful to do specifics about somebody and then you’re actually doing a character and not doing some random old lady or something.

It sounds kind of farfetched, yet I can’t tell you how many people have had this syndrome… the ‘Old Hag Syndrome.’ Apparently, there’s this little old lady who comes into your room at night, sits on your chest and tries to suffocate you. You can Google her – she’ll pop up. She’s out there.

A beautiful lady is an accident of nature. A beautiful old lady is a work of art.

A beautiful lady is an accident of nature. A beautiful old lady is a work of art.

I don’t want to die an old lady.

There is only one thing wrong about the Flo Hyman Award: it came to be named for the Old Lady of Volleyball much too soon.

I don’t feel like me unless I have my hair shaved. So even when I’m an old lady, I’m going to have it.

Don’t say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream.

I won’t quit to become someone’s old lady.

I don’t want to die an old lady.

I came on to Twitter in my 50s and I sort of think that was perfect. I am just a ranting old lady really and I like it.

I want to be an old lady, with my cane, shouting, ‘Action!’ and ‘Cut!’

Claude Debussy’s ‘Children’s Corner’ is a suite with six movements just for piano. Arturo Benedetti Michelangeli and Alfred Cartot’s versions are amazing, but my favorite is Menininha Lobo’s. Her version was done when she was an old lady – and you can hear it.

I hope to work till I’m an old lady.

The line between angry young woman and grumpy old lady is very fine.

Someone once said that to make a regular person laugh, you need to dress a guy up like an old lady and push him down the stairs. To make a comedy writer laugh, you have to push a real old lady down the stairs. I don’t know who that’s attributed to. I think it’s Aristophanes. Or Catherine the Great.

I think there’s still this huge glass ceiling for women owning sexuality. And especially young women. If you’re an old lady like me, I can do anything now.

Fate has it in for me to be an exhibit: that funny old lady from the telly.

Someone once said that to make a regular person laugh, you need to dress a guy up like an old lady and push him down the stairs. To make a comedy writer laugh, you have to push a real old lady down the stairs. I don’t know who that’s attributed to. I think it’s Aristophanes. Or Catherine the Great.

If I were God, I would just be up there scratching my head, thinking, ‘What the hell am I supposed to do with this?’ For everyone helping an old lady across the street, there’s someone else bludgeoning a person to death. And sometimes they’re the same. How can He separate us all out?

I won’t quit to become someone’s old lady.

When I was 7, an old lady was driving too fast in my neighborhood and hit me with her car. I was running out of the house, and when I got halfway into the street, my mom saw the car and yelled for me to run back. As I turned around the car hit me, dragged me five houses down the road, and I fractured my collarbone.

That’s my opportunity to hide behind that old lady and say what I want to say.

You know, I’m trying to sometimes sit down and write some stories about my childhood and maybe one when I’m an old lady put them out like a book.

The line between angry young woman and grumpy old lady is very fine.

I honestly kind of hate shopping. My favorite places to shop are rich old lady consignment stores.

I realize that I’m a mature woman and one of these days, incredible diet or not, I’ll be a little old lady.

One day, I’ll be a crazy old lady with long rainbow hair living in the woods. I will have a rad tree house with tons of rooms for people to come over, recharge, and make art.

If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs. If you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs.

You think of ‘Outlaw Josey Wales,’ you immediately think of the old Indian guy, Sondra Locke, the old lady with the glasses, beautiful old actress.

Women are usually only interesting to studio executives when they are fecund, between the ages of 15 and 30. I decided to get through the really tough patch, around 50, by just cutting my price and playing ten years older. I didn’t want to have to wait until I was an old lady to play one.