Top 105 Funniest Quotes

The show was written just for us. We all thought we were the prettiest and the funniest.

As far as stand-ups go, I always loved Richard Pryor, Chris Rock, and Sinbad. Basically, I love black comedians because they’re the funniest. I wish I were a black comedian, actually.

While it is entirely untrue that Canadians lack a sense of humour, the funniest ones tend to head south: Dan Aykroyd, Jim Carrey, Michael J. Fox.

We Germans should know that we’re good at constructing cars, and we have a lot of good qualities. But we’re not the funniest.

I was named DC’s funniest celebrity.

I love Charlie, Billy Burke’s character. Writing for him is so spectacular, he’s so funny and wry and every scene he’s in he just takes. There’s a scene in ‘Eclipse’ where Bella tells him she’s a virgin, and it’s the funniest, most awkward scene I’ve ever seen on film.

My mum is the funniest and sweetest person I know; my sister’s like my best friend, so it’s great having them around.

There may be something good in silence. It’s a brand new thing. You can hear the funniest little discussions, if you keep turning the volume down. Shut yourself up, and listen out loud.

Comedy-wise, I think Chris Elliott is one of the funniest people.

I’ve been to many funerals of funny people, and they’re some of the funniest days you’ll ever have, because the emotions run high.

I think one of the funniest things about ’30 Rock’ is that Liz Lemon is sort of like Buster Keaton – she’s always the fool, the joke is always on her.

I would love to be more specific, but really, any type of bird is the funniest animal. They have to move awkwardly when walking. They have beady eyes; they are very suspicious. They can’t do anything right. They have no hands, which is inherently funny.

Sometimes I try to sell shows with a female lead to networks, and that isn’t something that’s been a proven formula for them, so they reject it. I do feel like men get the funniest roles in movies.

I was always a big fan of Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner’s ‘2000-Year-Old Man’ sketch. I think it’s one of the biggest influences on the podcast, definitely. You’d never say Carl Reiner was the funniest dude on there, because he’s just teeing it up, but he knows what questions to ask to lead to great improv.

What I do know is that traditional gender roles are very real and flipping the norm is difficult for even the strongest, funniest, smartest men.

The funniest women I’ve known are Southern. It is such a vital way to get what you want. Charm and grace and a sense of humor will take you a long way.

My dad sings, and my mom is the funniest person you’ll ever meet. You put them together, and out comes the Feldstein children.

I strive for honesty because I think that’s where the funniest stuff comes from.

My guiltiest pleasure in life is ‘America’s Funniest Home Videos.’ I watch them all – old, new – I don’t care. Despite how bad the writing is on the show. The people getting hit and hurt, that’s hilarious.

On ‘The Mick’ we want to make the funniest family show possible, but maybe pushing the boundaries of which family members you want to be watching – some kids will be too young for it.

The only way I was going to be funny was if I was myself, and either you liked it, or you didn’t. Either you got on my train, or you didn’t. Freeing myself of this idea that I had to fit a certain mold was when I was able to be my funniest.

I can’t stand girls who laugh at everything I say like I’m the funniest guy in the world. I like girls who tell it like it is, no kissing up to me because I’m on TV.

You learn, even at ‘S.N.L.,’ that the funniest scripts a lot of the time were written with the actor, because they know what makes people laugh. It’s always going to be better if they own it.

That’s the funniest thing about portraying certain things on screen, sitting next to your parents and they get to see this glimpse of me kissing another guy.

My sister Edith died at the age of 43. She was the youngest sister and the funniest. I had to harrumph and snort a few times to stop the weeping.

If I go to a party, I’m not one to be the funniest person in the room at all.

What’s hilarious is people taking photos and they think you don’t know. It’s the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. Like taking a picture of their mate for example but about three foot wide of their face – and the flash is on half the time!

I go out with my mates and after a drink they’ll ask, ‘How are you a comedian? You’re not the funniest among us,’ And they’re right – I’m not even the funniest in our house.

I always say to people that Zimbabweans are the funniest people in Africa; we even laugh at funerals. And it’s true. I mean, there are so many jokes about funerals. There are so many jokes about AIDS. We find ways of coping with pain by laughing at it and by laughing at ourselves.

You might be the funniest guy in the world, but if you don’t have anything to talk about, people are eventually going to gravitate towards the guy that’s actually saying something.

You take from things that you read about in the news or things you hear about or things that happen to you, and you collectively sit in a room with everyone, and everyone decides what the funniest stories are that you’ve heard or thought of.

If I apply myself to rap, I’m gonna be the best rapper alive. If I apply myself to comedy, I’m going to be the funniest guy alive.

I gained the weight on purpose for ‘Little Nicky,’ and it was one of those cases where I’d done a few roles where I looked the same way, and I wanted to be the roommate because I thought that was the funniest part for me.

A lot of people think that, as a person, Nawazuddin Siddiqui is very serious. However, he is very funny and witty. Once he opens up with you, he can be the funniest person around.

By the way, I’m funniest when I’m not being funny. I’m better to laugh at than with, pretty much.

Someone asked me ‘What’s the funniest thing or what’s the best thing that you’ve ever done?’ It’s always what I’m doing now.

My daughter is the funniest person I know, and I couldn’t imagine my life without her.

Who knew Rob Lowe was funny? On ‘Parks and Rec,’ we’ve got some of the funniest comedy writers, some of the funniest comedians in the world working there. And if anything, we don’t just effuse to one another and be like, ‘Oh, Rob Lowe’s really funny,’ if he wasn’t.

Of course, my whole theory of comedy is based in reality. The funniest stuff comes from real life.

I think expressing yourself and working hard can’t help but have great results. Look at Zach Galifanakis. He didn’t tweet. He didn’t have a podcast. He just went out and did the funniest standup you’ll ever see in your life. And he was rewarded for that.

Keith Moon was the funniest guy around. The stuff he did was insane. He was like somebody straight out of the movies.

When I was 3, my mom sent in a video of me singing George Strait to ‘America’s Funniest Home Videos.’

Sometimes, I find that just the simplest, cleanest things that are intelligently performed are funniest to me.

I loved ‘The Carol Burnett Show’ – I thought she was the funniest lady I’d ever seen.

My dad was the funniest guy I ever knew.

My dad’s one of the funniest men in the world. I grew up with him making me laugh so much I’d beg him to stop.

My father is sort of the jokester. My dad is still the funniest guy in our family.

We were a very funny family. Humour was the tool with which my brother and I tried to get attention. We were always trying to be the funniest.

The funniest thing is I never understood why actors were so shady about who they’re dating. Then I realized the things you say get printed and the people you’re involved with read them. That’s what’s tricky. Nothing goes unnoticed. I don’t want to get myself in trouble!

There’s always a host of voices you’re inspired by. I love Don DeLillo, and I love Isaac Bashevis Singer, and I love Beckett, and I love Pinter. He’s one of the funniest voices in English literature since Dickens.

Here’s the thing about Jews in Hollywood. Not to stereotype, but the Jews I know here are the funniest, most self-deprecating people I know. And it’s rare to find a Jew that is actually offended by comedy about them.

I was lucky to start working when German cinema was having an interesting moment. Now the quality is going downhill again because they’re insisting on doing comedies. We should know by now that we make good cars but we’re not the funniest people.

Everything I am, everything I’ve been allowed to do, career-wise, has come out of the opportunity I had with ‘Cheers’. I think it’s one of the funniest shows ever. They are some of my best friends.

The funniest line in English is ‘Get it?’ When you say that, everyone chortles.

When you do a movie as opposed to a TV show, it’s always tempting to think everything has to be big and exaggerated and spectacular. And in fact, a lot of the funniest comedy films have been very intimate.

Miley’s always been Noah’s biggest fan. Miley’s always like, ‘I can be in a room until Noah walks in!’ She truly has always had something very special. She probably is the funniest person I know.