Are you kidding? They had me at ‘Star Wars.’ The kid inside me would’ve clawed his way out and strangled me if I’d turned this job down.
I don’t feel that I’m explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I’m not trying to be a mirror, showing them what’s really going on the world. All I’m trying to do is think of stuff that’s funny, just like when I’m kidding around with my friends.
I often liken my love life to the pathetic fallacy found in a Bronte novel: a long and winding road tented by storm clouds and rain. Kidding.
My favorite show tune has got to be Stephen Sondheim’s ‘I Remember Sky.’ It’s probably the saddest song of all time; I sing it to myself in the mirror. No, I am kidding. That’s the joke.
I don’t know if I’m ever going to quit playing football. I’m just kidding.
Teller and I worked Renaissance Festivals and street performing – actually more real, no kidding around, Philadelphia street performing than we did Renaissance Festivals.
The world has changed – through technology, through wine-making techniques, the quality of wine is greater than it’s ever been. Whereas ten, fifteen years ago it was very easy to find lots of bad wine, it’s kind of hard now. The technology, the science – it’s like, are you kidding? We’re in the golden years of wine!
I have a fear of being broke. That’s what I have a fear of. I’m not kidding.
I feel like my life has been very serendipitous and really kind of humorous. Everything that’s happened to me has been like an, ‘Omigod, are you kidding me?’
Are you kidding? This is crazy, man. I thought I was Mr. Pre-Televised awards.
When the idea of ‘Chopped’ surfaced, it was originally meant to be taped at some guy’s mansion with him and his crazy Chihuahua. A stuffy fellow in a tuxedo was to host, and the losing chef’s dish was then fed to the dog! I am not kidding, I saw it! I think it is genius! Twisted, but genius!
I love to bake, so I made vanilla bean and blueberry muffins for sick hospital children. Just kidding! All of that is true except the sick children part.
My advice to young people – wait until it’s your turn. Just kidding, sorta.
Whenever I make a blasphemous joke, I always say that I believe in a God big enough to know that I’m just kidding. How can God not know that I’m kidding? And also, how could God be offended at a thing that he made not believing in him?
I’m the guy who wrote The Authority Song. Did they think I was kidding? Did they think it was only a song to entertain?
