Top 135 Wit Quotes

The witty woman is a tragic figure in American life. Wit destroys eroticism and eroticism destroys wit, so women must choose between taking lovers and taking no prisoners.

And new Philosophy calls all in doubt, the element of fire is quite put out; the Sun is lost, and the earth, and no mans wit can well direct him where to look for it.

Prithee don’t screw your wit beyond the compass of good manners.

Alan Ginsberg was fabulous. The man is so filled with energy. He’s 65 years old and he’s just loaded with energy and charm and wit and his mind is constantly racing.

Those who are born of parents broken with old age, or of such as are not yet ripe or are too young, or of drunkards, soft or effeminate men, want a great and liberal ingenuity or wit.

And the people who live in the southern part of my state do not have a secure environment. To wit, there are signs that the government put up that say, ‘Warning. You are in a drug smuggling area and a human smuggling area.’

I think there’s a fallacy that’s been concocted by the music teachers’ profession, to wit: that there’s a certain sequence of events necessary in order to have the revealed truth about the way one produces a given effect on a given instrument.

There is a certain majesty in simplicity which is far above all the quaintness of wit.

Perhaps, as some wit remarked, the best proof that there is Intelligent Life in Outer Space is the fact it hasn’t come here. Well, it can’t hide forever – one day we will overhear it.

England gave me a chance. It’s a very individual country where people have a personal style; they don’t all follow a trend. The subtlety and wit of England is incredible, and they are very creative.

Nothing can atone for the lack of modesty; without which beauty is ungraceful and wit detestable.

A man has to have sensibility, wit, mystery, tolerance, and strength… Romance also helps.

I’m grateful to intelligent people. That doesn’t mean educated. That doesn’t mean intellectual. I mean really intelligent. What black old people used to call ‘mother wit’ means intelligence that you had in your mother’s womb. That’s what you rely on. You know what’s right to do.

Our country is now taking so steady a course as to show by what road it will pass to destruction, to wit: by consolidation of power first, and then corruption, its necessary consequence.

Comedy has to be done en clair. You can’t blunt the edge of wit or the point of satire with obscurity. Try to imagine a famous witty saying that is not immediately clear.

What is a epigram? A dwarfish whole. Its body brevity, and wit its soul.

In the midst of the fountain of wit there arises something bitter, which stings in the very flowers.

No man is so much a fool as not to have wit enough sometimes to be a knave; nor any so cunning a knave as not to have the weakness sometimes to play the fool.

There are two things in ordinary conversation which ordinary people dislike – information and wit.

Wit as an instrument of revenge is as infamous as art is as a means of sensual titillation.

Wit is the most rascally, contemptible, beggarly thing on the face of the earth.

There is an old maxim which states that good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from poor judgment. I think something similar can be said of government policy, to wit: Good policy comes from experience, and experience comes from poor policy.

Women are blessed with lots and lots of extra ways to win or lose validation. If you’re a woman, you’ll be judged on your beauty and your wit and how often you smile. You’ll be judged on how much hair you have in some places and not in others.

Man forgives woman anything save the wit to outwit him.

Libraries are reservoirs of strength, grace and wit, reminders of order, calm and continuity, lakes of mental energy, neither warm nor cold, light nor dark.

Tennis: the most perfect combination of athleticism, artistry, power, style, and wit. A beautiful game, but one so remorselessly travestied by the passage of time.

Wit thou well that I will not live long after thy days.

Comedy comes with a bit of sarcasm, wit and edginess.

I was a big fan of how Johnny Carson hosted awards shows. Dick Cavett, as well, I think did a really great job of providing a nice blend of comedy, wit and class.

Wit is a dangerous weapon, even to the possessor, if he knows not how to use it discreetly.

Giving votes in exchange for ideological support. To wit: identity politics for homosexuals.

If, like me, you’ve never watched ‘Game of Thrones’, the podcast ‘Binge Mode: ‘Game of Thrones” ought to be unlistenable. It isn’t, thanks to the energy of the two expert presenters Mallory Rubin and Jason Concepcion, who have the wit to laugh at their own deep-dive devotion and are helped out by some smart editing.

Disability is articulated as a struggle, an unnecessary burden that one must overcome to the soundtrack of a string crescendo. But disabled lives are multi-faceted – brimming with personality, pride, ambition, love, empathy, and wit.

You can’t pretend to be witty because wit is dry, subtle, lacerating, cynical, elitist, and risque – all impossible to fake. Humor, on the other hand, is broad, soothing, positive, inclusive, and smutty – to make sure everybody gets it. Pretending to be humorous is easy, and a great many people are doing it.

It is always the same: women bedeck themselves with jewels and furs, and men with wit and quotations.

When the green woods laugh with the voice of joy, And the dimpling stream runs laughing by; When the air does laugh with our merry wit, And the green hill laughs with the noise of it.

Generally speaking, there is more wit than talent in the world. Society swarms with witty people who lack talent.

Converse with men makes sharp the glittering wit, but God to man doth speak in solitude.

A wit should be no more sincere than a woman constant.

In Paris, you learn wit, in London you learn to crush your social rivals, and in Florence you learn poise.

A pun is not bound by the laws which limit nicer wit. It is a pistol let off at the ear; not a feather to tickle the intellect.

One of the attractions of translating ‘Heroes’ is that it’s not the kind of play that I write. If it had been, I probably wouldn’t have wanted to translate it. There are no one-liners. It’s much more a truthful comedy than a play of dazzling wit.

For my own part I think no innocent species of wit or pleasantry should be suppressed: and that a good pun may be admitted among the smaller excellencies of lively conversation.

I have wit in my work and a sense of humor, but I do not use irony in any way.

No man is the wiser for his learning; it may administer matter to work in, or objects to work upon; but wit and wisdom are born with a man.

Impropriety is the soul of wit.

The genius of the Spanish people is exquisitely subtle, without being at all acute; hence there is so much humour and so little wit in their literature.

Roosevelt’s humor was broad, his manner friendly. Of wit there was little; of philosophy, none. What did he possess? Intuition, inspiration, love of adventure.

Unhappy is that Grandeur which makes us too great to be good; and that Wit which sets us at a distance from true Wisdom.

All my shows are therapy, trying to navigate interesting subjects so I can work them out and to be honest and say some things are beyond the wit of this man.

Wit is educated insolence.

The slow rhythm of the body, the insistent rhythm of the wit, were they becoming irreconcilable in modern civilisation? The sedentary life, frustration and irritability; work with the body, fatigue – and peace of mind.

My first job out of law school was on the Court of Appeals for the Tenth Circuit, where Gorsuch is a judge. I observed in the year that I worked at the court what many litigants and commentators have since noted: that Gorsuch possesses an incisive legal mind, writes with skill and wit, and is scrupulously fair.

I was at my wit’s end trying to solve the world’s problems. I was frustrated that I could do very little. That frustration took me to Vipassana.

The liveliest effusions of wit and humour are simply what the reader of a novel has a right to expect.

Come, come, leave business to idlers, and wisdom to fools: they have need of ’em: wit be my faculty, and pleasure my occupation, and let father Time shake his glass.

The real challenge lies in maintaining dignity while being funny. I am in awe of Krushna Abhishek’s energy and Bharti Singh’s wit. They are infectious and selfless.

The genius, wit, and the spirit of a nation are discovered by their proverbs.

Wit consists in knowing the resemblance of things that differ, and the difference of things that are alike.

Our erected wit maketh us to know what perfection is.

Female movie stars from the pre-Code era of Hollywood, like Mae West, could be so raunchy and witty before they were edited. Sometimes they could go further in their wit than we go now.

It is a sad thing when men have neither the wit to speak well nor the judgment to hold their tongues.