Words matter. These are the best Andrew J. Bernstein Quotes, and they’re great for sharing with your friends.
The number of stressors has multiplied exponentially: traffic, money, success, work/life balance, the economy, the environment, parenting, family conflict, relationships, disease. As the nature of human life has become far more complicated, our ancient stress response hasn’t been able to keep up.
Negative thoughts stick around because we believe them, not because we want them or choose them.
People often say that stress is a motivator. What we’re referring to when we say this is really better described as stimulation and engagement.
To believe that your husband, wife, parents, kids, boss, job, bank account, or body is even partly responsible for your emotions, to think that there are bullets ‘out there’ that you have to contend with, that there are stressful life events to overcome, is to miss something vital.
During the financial crisis, I worked with hundreds of executives who struggled as a result of their thoughts about job security. When their beliefs changed, so did their emotional experience – and they were then able to focus on the task at hand more effectively.
The reason humans experience so much more stress than other species isn’t just because we think more, but also because we think differently.
Worrisome thoughts and their resulting feelings are a form of self strangulation. They not only strangle your emotions. They affect your physical life as well, and your ability to focus and get things done.
You might think that shifting your thoughts is as easy as setting your mind to it. But stressful thoughts aren’t held in place through choice or will power. They’re held in place through perceived truth value.
We need to distinguish between stress and stimulation. Having deadlines, setting goals, and pushing yourself to perform at capacity are stimulating. Stress is when you’re anxious, upset, or frustrated, which dramatically reduce your ability to perform.
When a friend is sick, I see the situation for what it is, not what it isn’t, and I offer to help as much as she wants, not as much as I want.
We all enjoy pushing ourselves to accomplish our objectives. But we don’t need stress to get there.
Remember that stress doesn’t come from what’s going on in your life. It comes from your thoughts about what’s going on in your life.
Stress is the negative whirlwind of emotions that gets imposed on top of our stimulation and engagement.
People around the world now complain about stressors everyday, and the word shows up throughout professional and lay literature. But in reality there is no such thing as a stressor. Why not? Because nothing has the inherent power to provoke stress.
What’s taking place during stress is actually much simpler than a transaction between stressful life events and you. There aren’t two parties involved in stress. There is only one – your own mind.
The truth is that stress doesn’t come from your boss, your kids, your spouse, traffic jams, health challenges, or other circumstances. It comes from your thoughts about these circumstances.
Stress is not the spice of life any more than arsenic is. And without it, you won’t feel bored.
