Words matter. These are the best Joe Rogan Quotes, and they’re great for sharing with your friends.
After this whole acting thing is over and done, you eventually have to be human. Some people are never human. It’s very weird.
The Comedy Store in LA, it’s a really loose room and it’s really dark and creepy and a great place to explore your own thoughts onstage.
I talk so much about sex that girls just want to meet me.
I wouldn’t totally rule out doing Letterman or the Tonight Show if I had a set that I just happened to write that I thought was funny but was still appropriate for network censors. But I’m not going to go out of my way.
So many times I’ve done a CD, and then the week after I record it, I’ve got this new tagline that’s killer. And it makes the whole bit better. It happens all the time. But that’s just the process of comedy.
Never stay in a bad marriage, and don’t hang around with psycho coke fiends.
I never in my wildest imagination dreamed that I would somehow become a sports commentator.
Reality really is theater. There’s no other way to describe it. It’s all so nonsensical, ridiculous and chaotic.
Richard Pryor is, in my mind, the most honest comedian. He bared his soul to people. I think that’s why everybody loved him so much.
The planet’s spinning a thousand miles an hour around this gigantic nuclear explosion while these people roll these machines with rubber tires over this hard surface that we’ve laid down over the planet so that we can easily move ourselves back and forth.
If you can lie, you can act, and if you can lie to crazy girlfriends, you can act under pressure.
People want their 15 minutes and are willing to do anything to get it.
It’s painful for me to watch someone who isn’t funny. It’s horrifying to sit in the back and watch some guy who just totally sucks.
I’ve done jiujitsu a huge chunk of my life, and I try to spend a lot of time educating people on the nuances, the subtleness of the ground game. It’s a big part of mixed martial arts.
Stand-up is still my favorite, but the podcast is a close second. It’s so fun, and it’s given me the opportunity to have three-hour conversations with people I wouldn’t have otherwise been able to talk to. When I talked to Maynard Keenan from Tool, I almost couldn’t believe it was happening.
Phil Hartman was brilliant, and Dave Foley is a really funny guy. Phil Hartman was actually even funnier offstage than he was onstage because he would say nasty things. Dave Foley’s very funny, very witty guy, very quick.
That’s my only goal. Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard.
Faith itself is a horrible mechanism that stunts the growth of ideas. It also stunts the act of questioning, and it does this by pushing the idea that you have to have faith – and that nothing has to be proven.
The only time I commit to conspiracy theories is when something way retarded happens. Like Lee Harvey Oswald acting alone.
It never hurt Lenny Bruce’s career to get arrested for swearing. It did back in the time, but he broke those doors down by doing the stuff that he believed in.
I had a sense of who I was before I got famous.
But it’s hard for a chick to do comedy. It’s not as open for them.
Although not considered a martial art, boxing is really a martial art. It’s a very limited martial art as long as you agree to just box… but in an actual physical fight against someone who’s just a wrestler, you’re going to get killed.
If someone plays a brooding actor in a film, people think they’re brooding all the time.
The audience changes every night. You’re the same person. You have to speak your mind and do the stuff that you think is funny and makes you laugh.
