Words matter. These are the best Alan Carr Quotes, and they’re great for sharing with your friends.
At school people laughed at me, not with me.
I mean, I see the old interviews with Bette Davis or Joan Crawford, these characters clawed their way up – what stories.
Doing stand up helps – thinking on your feet definitely comes in handy when it’s a live show.
I mean, seeing 10 very talented interior designers is not hard work – it’s an absolute joy.
I don’t really like being a celebrity.
Girls don’t want to hang around boys talking about ‘The Golden Girls’. They want a boyfriend who turns up on a motorbike, don’t they?
A fortune-teller said my future lay in comedy.
I’m old school, when I go on stage, I want every single person in that theatre to have the time of their life. I don’t want to upset someone on their night off when they’ve been working all week.
I think I have got a lot better as an interviewer. I let people talk now which is something you need to do. At the beginning I thought jokes, jokes, jokes, I am a stand up comedian but I think I have mellowed out now.
I do my own stunts. You see someone like Graham Norton would have had a stunt double, but no, I give 100 per cent to my viewers.
I know David Walliams did ‘Blankety Blank’, and when he did that I was so jealous. I would have loved to have done that. It’s sort of my sense of humour.
When things finish, you think, ‘It’s over’ but you realise sometimes, it’s just the beginning of something else.
There’s a reason ‘The Price Is Right’ is on in every country in the world. It’s simple, and people want to know the price of things. Plus we give away brilliant prizes.
I love that I’m approachable. All kinds of people come up to me.
I’ve already brought enough shame on the family without halting the family tree.
I don’t like the attention that comes with TV.
Everyone was a footballer in my family. My grandfather Wilf played for Newcastle and my cousins play. It’s in the blood.
I’m not that good at knowing the price of things. Not because I live in a celebrity bubble, but just because I’ve always been rubbish at stuff like that.
My mum will never ask if I’m seeing anyone; I’m not that kind of person anyway. I’m very private.
Even if people threw tomatoes at me and booed me off stage, at least you can wash out tomatoes, unlike nine hours of abuse from the general public which can affect your mental health.
Let’s be honest, you’re very selfish in your twenties, and in your thirties you are just trying to get a down payment for your flat or enough money to pay your bills.
Children? No, no, no. I struggle with a red setter.
I love the buzz of doing live. I am a stand-up comedian and so I am not scared of live.
I love a bit of ‘Tipping Point’; I sit there and sometimes the dog starts watching it. It’s just like the going in and out and the coins falling, it can be quite trance-like.
How can you explain to Americans who Kim Woodburn is? It’s just nice, for once in my life, to not be the campest one in the room.
It’s dangerous when you start telling people they can’t have an opinion on something. And, you know, you don’t cancel someone, you engage with someone.
To get your own chatshow, with your name in the title, my arena tour last year – that was another goal for me – I got my own radio show, again with my name in the title… Apart from rehab, there isn’t really much on my to-do list!
I didn’t want a ghost writer. I’ve got such a distinctive voice, people would smell a rat, I think.
I think TV in general is camp. ‘X Factor’ is camp, ‘Strictly Come Dancing’ is camp. Basically, an orange man comes down some stairs and waves at the camera. People are drawn to that.
But there’s something delightfully old-school about sitting in the BBC – obviously wearing a bow tie and monocle – with a co-presenter who forgets there’s a webcam in there. It’s also nice to hear from the general public when they’re not swearing at you or asking to extend their credit limit.
Nostalgia is so powerful, and it was such an odd year, 2020.
It seems the older I get, I hear about cancer more and more but not to get too totally depressed about it all – on a positive note you do hear about people surviving it more – thanks to the fantastic work done by the Stand Up To Cancer campaign.
Drag queens in the UK, they survive it all – there’s a hen party, a stag party, people throwing beer bottles. They work not on their heels, but on their wits.
Explaining ‘The Price Is Right’ is probably going to make it sound like the most moronic show ever. I invite people out of the audience to guess the price of a series of household objects.
I’m a comedian. I can’t get a spray tan. I can’t get a weave. I can’t get my teeth done. Can you imagine if I came out on stage looking really hunky? Comedy doesn’t work like that.
