Top 40 Martin Short Quotes

I know if I were to drop dead now, people would probably write nice things in the obit.

Often audiences vary… but I’ve always found Milwaukee to be a fabulous place to play with great audiences and very hip.

Someone once asked me what was the weirdest question I was ever asked. And I was stymied.

You try to figure out things to keep yourself interested. It’s very easy to get lulled.

I’ve always thought one of the tricks of being an actor for a long time is keeping yourself interested once you’ve figured out how to pay the rent.

Comedy is a weird thing.

I’ve done lots of improv things but not a whole movie.

I remember, as a kid, nothing struck me funnier than seeing Richard Nixon look into the camera and sincerely tell everyone he didn’t know where the 18 minutes had gone from his tapes. But there was all this sweat on his upper lip. We knew he was lying. He knew we knew he was lying. But he was determined to tell the lie.

All you’re trying to do in an improvisation is get as much material as possible for the editing room.

Sometimes people get passionate about the obscure jokes.

I think Canadians are great satirists because we sit in the middle of these two giants: Great Britain and the U.S.

When kids like Steven Spielberg were eight and nine and 10, they had little cameras, and that’s all they wanted to do. When I was 10, I was in my attic pretending to host my own variety show. Spielberg wasn’t. That’s why he’s a film director, and I’m doing what I’m doing.

I’m just drawn to the odd guy, the man who is full of it, the guy who has limited talent but is pretending he’s a genius.

When you get to a point where you’re successful enough that you can say, ‘I don’t have to take any job anymore,’ and you’re still good at what you do, how do you decide what work to take on? I think the answer is that you pursue what you enjoy. In my case, it’s variety.

You go through publicists because it’s easy for a publicist to say to another publicist, ‘No’.

People do think I’m Jewish. But we’re Irish Catholic. My father had a brogue.

Any time you’re honoured by your home, it’s a bigger deal than most.

There’s a lot of insecure, sad people in any profession.

My job is not to analyze my career. But I am proud of the amount of work I’ve done and the amount of commitment I’ve given to it. That makes me proud.

I’ve never done an improvised movie as a fictitious character. I think that’s the challenge.

I’ve chosen to treat my life more like a party than something to stress about.

Trump is Trump. Some people find him hilarious. I don’t find it hilarious, but you can’t say it’s dull. There’s nothing credible about Donald Trump.

I pretend I’m one of the royal family when I’m in a hotel and that the hotel belongs to me – it is a palace.

I think I’m funny because my family, my siblings were funny.

David Lynch and I almost made a movie together in the late ’80s. We had lots of dinners and lunches. He’s a very cool, hip guy. This film, let’s face it, is like an homage to him, I would imagine he’d find it funny.

Comedy is so subjective. If you trip and fall down, some people will laugh, and some people will say, ‘Oh, physical comedy is so pedestrian.’ Some people look at Three Stooges as lowbrow; some people consider them artists. No one is wrong. It’s just a personal take.

What’s great about being a character actor is you know that you can survive forever. It’s not about the gloss of your eyebrows.

I think that even though the characters were heightened, the ‘SCTV’ cast were all such strong actors they found a certain truth in playing them. I think that’s why the show stays fresh and timeless.

No one is any one thing.

My natural state is to be happy. I’m naturally buoyant. I wake up feeling, ‘What a great morning!’ I’ve had some tragedy in my life, absolutely, but I don’t know one human being who hasn’t. You either learn from it and become empowered by it, or you become a victim to it. It’s life, after all.

You can do 12 great takes, but if the director is no good, he’ll end up picking the wrong one.

Eugene Levy is my closest friend.

I was a huge fan of Steve Martin, as everyone I knew in comedy was.

What I learned, a little too late, was that the ‘traditional’ Martin Short target viewer weighs under 300 pounds. Unfortunately, I was on during daytime.

I think loss can fuel how you lead your whole life.

‘Nice’ is not a common label for comedians, but it is for Canadians. I like it.

Everything alters and changes with time. Some things that are considered triumphs, and 10 years later, they’re considered minor.

Being the youngest of five, you’re adored, you’re fueled with confidence.

I have sometimes imagined my own death and brought myself to tears.

I have a kind of objective luxury about my career.