Top 40 Peter Kay Quotes

Bernard Manning is controversial but he had incredible timing. I wrote the character of Brian Potter in ‘Phoenix Nights’ for him to play but unfortunately he was too poorly to do it. I thought it would have been perfect casting but it didn’t happen.

Sometimes people say, ‘Oh I’m surprised you’d be in Staples buying a plastic box, I thought you’d have a servant to do that for you.’ I’m like, ‘What are you talking about? I still go to Tesco, I still do my big shop.’

What a joy to be working on the second series of ‘Car Share’ with the wonderful Sian Gibson. The success of the first series has been completely overwhelming.

Oh God love Susan Boyle. God love ‘er. I’ve nothing more to say about Susan, except God love ‘er and God bless ‘er.

You’ve got to just be happy with your lot.

Fatherhood has changed me – it has to change you. It makes you much more aware of the minutiae of life, it’s not about your needs any more, its about everyone else’s.

I am fascinated by real people who are really funny.

I believe in a God of some kind, in some sort of higher being. Personally I find it very comforting.

I never settled because I wasn’t meant to pack toilet rolls or stack shelves.

There’s no great secret or plan, I just think I’m funny and I want to make people laugh.

There’s some belting hymns. Brilliant hymns. When I was an altar boy the hymns were great.

I’m a grafter, but all I’ve ever been is myself.

Being a dad is just brilliant and fantastic. You can’t put into words what it’s like.

Sometimes I wish I could clone myself, you know, be in two places at once.

I’ve got loads of ideas swimming round, and I’ve even organised them in a nice folder on me computer.

I’m always freaking people out because I’ll be out somewhere and I’ll hear someone say something and then later on I’ll say it again word for word. It’s almost like recording it in your head.

Family are very important to me. They keep you grounded and sane. It’s really important that you don’t lose that.

It’s lonely being stuck in a hotel in London for two nights. Even a couple of nights away from the children is awful.

I knew I could make people laugh but I was frightened of doing it. I thought, ‘What if I’m crap, what if I’m no good at it?’, but I knew I should have a go and shouldn’t sit inside watching other people do it on television.

The Lily Foundation is an inspiring charity that helps to improve the lives of children with Mitochondrial Disease. I’ve had first-hand experience of the Foundation’s work and I’m proud to raise both awareness and much needed funds to help with the inspiring work they provide to children and their families.

Do I miss him? Of course I do. Every day. His death was devastating, he was just 51. But you know, in my stand-up my Dad will always be alive. He’s so much part of my act.

Being a comedian is probably the only job apart from undertaking that isn’t age restricted.

The one thing we pride ourselves on the most with writing ‘Car Share’ is that it’s hard to predict what’s going to happen and that’s hard to achieve, especially with comedy.

A lot of series tend to go on for one series too many, especially with comedies, and I think people say ‘ooh, it’s gone off, that.’

The truth is my dad was a lovely man who had to retire early from his job as an engineer because he had osteoporosis. It meant he was forced to wear a harness and could hardly breathe.

My mum can’t watch ‘Car Share’ – well she does, but she says, ‘Peter I can’t enjoy it because you’re not watching the road.’

I’m actually shy and my salvation is coming home and being normal.

That’s basically all my act is – it’s just listening all the time and watching for what people do with their hands and so on. It gets on people’s nerves a bit – especially when you’re at a wedding and you’re scribbling on a table and they go ‘stop doing that’ and you go ‘I can’t.’

I loved making it but when I saw it, I thought, ‘Oh my God. I’m a big green lizard running around Cardiff? Is that it?’ It’s nice to have been in ‘Doctor Who’ but that is regarded by fans as the worst episode ever.

I find it more challenging to do something new. But I would love to do a third series of ‘Phoenix Nights.’

I’m not the sort of comedian who wants to make audiences think about politics. I’m not clever in that way.

A lot of people have got into it because of money, but true comedians do it because they can’t help it, and feel slightly removed doing anything else. That were case with me.

You can’t not do stand-up for seven years and then not expect anyone else to come along. That’s life, things move on.

I was destined to make people laugh.

I like interesting casting, and casting people who you think might be slightly different in parts.

Children don’t mind when something was made – they don’t discriminate in that way. I tape very early episodes of ‘Rainbow’ and ‘Trumpton’ for my son and watch them with him. He loves them. ‘Trumpton’ was made in 1967, but he still watches it like it’s brand new.

If I am popular across the board, from teenagers to pensioners, it’s not because I’m trying to be family-orientated, it’s because my mum vets all my shows! I always get a critique from her and she’s very harsh.

If you’re struggling and you just get a sense when you’re writing that you might be running out of ideas, that’s when I think you should walk away.

I’ve met so many older actors and comedians who’ve told me they wished they’d spent as much time with their kids as they did chasing the money. You’ve got to draw a line but it’s a gamble.

In showbiz one minute you’re up there making thousands of people laugh, next minute you’re picking up toffees, you know it’s real life.