Top 55 Neal Brennan Quotes

Everyone has some secret and some source of pain or sadness and I just said mine first and then everybody went after me. I get it every day in my Instagram direct messages, people thanking me for talking about depression and telling me how it helped them.

I think anyone can write about anything that they have knowledge of and exposure to.

I needed to be more self-determining, and the most self-determining thing you can do in comedy is stand-up.

I don’t really have a process. I just get agitated or aroused by an idea in the world, and then I want to give my rebuttal.

I would like to do theaters. That’s always been a dream. I think that would be a good way to tour. But for the most part, in terms of, do I want to get recognized on the street? No. There’s not much I want about fame.

You know, when I was a kid, I used to cry every day, like, when I was like, you know, 7 through 11 or 6 through 11, to the point where my brother and sisters would like – there was an ongoing joke where they would make me cry to keep my streak alive of crying every day.

With most specials, even the best comedians will tell you they could have cut 15 or 20 minutes out of it.

I mean, no, I don’t think anything is too far; you can make fun of anything.

I know from doing stand-up, I don’t want to do a joke that I don’t trust.

I can always tell the demographic that will probably recognize me – white dudes, sort of skater-y hip hop white dudes, and working class black dudes.

Honestly, I’ve always thought that Charles Barkley is the best guy on TV because he will really tell you what he thinks. But it’s all well thought out.

The hardest part of comedy is writing the jokes, and the second-hardest part is telling the jokes. To me, everything else is significantly easier.

I had people think I was brilliant, then ‘Half Baked’ bricked. They literally look at me like a homeless person.

With ‘3 Mics’, there’s nothing I’m talking about that’s too hot button.

Why marry myself to an entire album? I don’t have to. If I download four songs from somebody on an iTunes sojourn, that’s about as good as it gets.

There’s nothing worse than trying to be funny and not being funny.

I haven’t watched ‘Half Baked’ in 17 years, since I was editing it. It’s like looking at an old picture where you have bad bangs or something.

I’m obsessive, I’m a control freak, I get snappy with people.

I’m not dripping with charisma like many of my friends are. But I do have candour, which is close.

You can say whatever you want, but there’s going to be consequences to it.

I’m not good at Reddit; I don’t go to the most popular parts.

Someone like Bethany Frankel goes from being, like, ‘some lady’ to a star with arguably as much charisma as anybody else on TV. I personally find that riveting.

Comedy’s the only job I say where you wake up and you’re like ‘Can’t do it!’

But my problem was that I did an hour for Comedy Central and nobody seemed to care.

I think anything is possible if the jokes are good.

I think the biggest influence on my stand-up would be Chris Rock, in that I love that Chris is basically an essayist, in that he’ll take a subject and just try and attack it from as many different angles as he can.

You know, like, real paying attention and real observation and deep thought and deep consideration can be a bit, you know, miserable-making.

I do have weird habits when I’m directing, or even think as a director, like when I move a cup, I make sure to put it back in the exact right place.

I think being honest on TV is pretty rare. So if I can be that, I would like to be.

If you’re into social justice it’s hard not to be on black people’s side.

3 Mics’ has gotten me fans who actually like me. Now they have a sense of what I’m like, so I get to talk in a way that I really want, and it’s fun to go on the road.

I always say to Blake Griffin that he has a better comedy career than I do.

‘Jersey Shore’ is one of the best shows of all time. They had so many hooks.

I love doing stand up. I think it’s a really worthwhile art form. It’s so unique in all the things it combines, in terms of it being philosophizing, preaching, speaking truth to power and basic communicating. It’s a good way to talk back to the world.

I generally don’t read articles about myself/’Chappelle’s Show,’ nor do I read reviews. It’s basically playing Russian Roulette. They’re not all gonna be positive.

I get that money is important, and it’s scary to think that you won’t have enough. At the same time, we can set up reasonable social safety nets and take care of everybody.

I think I’ve seen every ‘Bill Maher’ episode.

I just don’t believe in the old definition that a fan of music is: I find a band, I listen to all of it and I pretend to like stuff that I don’t like. Now if I don’t like it, I just go, ‘I don’t like this.’ It’s way fairer.

Being able to write jokes is great, but you still have to get used to performing them and being on stage – and enjoying being on stage, not just like tolerating it.

I think the thing I had going for me is a good pedigree and joke-writing ability. But a good pedigree, for the audience, doesn’t matter past the first 90 seconds.

I’m not going to say the market is flooded, but there are a lot of people doing comedy.

If you just want money and tax cuts and stuff, fine – just stop acting like you’re moral.

The biggest problem in America is most people believe poor people are poor because they are lazy.

I don’t think there is 70 good hours of TV in a week.

Like, I feel like I’m funny, despite the fact that I keep getting rejected by people less funny than me.

It’s way more fun to tell jokes for an hour than it is to sit in a room and bash your head against the wall trying to think of sketches.

Steve Allen was on Johnny Carson one time – I looked for it, but I couldn’t find it – and he read the lyrics to ‘Hot Stuff’ by Donna Summer like a poet. He read them very seriously. I was maybe 8, but it killed me.

When you’re in a friend circle, you all kind of talk the same way. And it’s hard to do on-the-fly radio edits of yourself.

In true, narcissistic fashion, when my father was diagnosed as a narcissist, he called us all up individually to tell us, and he did it with true pride.

The thing about comedians is, we’re generally pretty smart. So, if we can be smart and funny, that is the victory.

You’re supposed to not like the ‘Austin Powers’ movies because people ruin the catchphrases. ‘Austin Powers’ is so funny.

I love the fact that I can make a podcast in my house and tens of thousands of people will hear it. I also like that it’s gotten rid of a lot of gatekeepers.

Even at it’s worst, ‘Def Jam’ was extremely interesting and extremely well performed. And the crowds were amazing.

People don’t like doing podcasts.

I find that I like what I like. I like a strong melody, I like an inventive structure and I have to like the singer’s voice or I have no interest in it.