Top 66 Will Rogers Quotes

We can’t all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud when they go by.

Communism to me is one-third practice and two-thirds explanation.

Liberty doesn’t work as well in practice as it does in speeches.

Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven’t had one since Taft. Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln.

A fool and his money are soon elected.

Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due.

People’s minds are changed through observation and not through argument.

This thing of being a hero, about the main thing to it is to know when to die.

The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn’t still be a farmer.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

So let’s be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way.

Things ain’t what they used to be and never were.

In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write but evidently can’t read. If they could read their stuff, they’d stop writing.

A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you.

Now if there is one thing that we do worse than any other nation, it is try and manage somebody else’s affairs.

Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.

There’s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

I have a scheme for stopping war. It’s this – no nation is allowed to enter a war till they have paid for the last one.

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

The difference between a Republican and a Democrat is the Democrat is a cannibal they have to live off each other, while the Republicans, why, they live off the Democrats.

Never let yesterday use up too much of today.

Too many people spend money they haven’t earned to buy things they don’t want to impress people they don’t like.

It’s easy being a humorist when you’ve got the whole government working for you.

Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction.

We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others.

America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few.

Buy land. They ain’t making any more of the stuff.

I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.

I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I’m in a town with only one newspaper, I read it eight times.

The time to save is now. When a dog gets a bone, he doesn’t go out and make a down payment on a bigger bone. He buries the one he’s got.

Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.

The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.

If you want to be successful, it’s just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing.

I’m not a real movie star. I’ve still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.

When the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both states.

On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.

There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.

A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people.

Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.

One Ad is worth more to a paper than forty Editorials.

Democrats never agree on anything, that’s why they’re Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they would be Republicans.

The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That’s one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living.

What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.

Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have.

If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don’t get wet you can keep.

An ignorant person is one who doesn’t know what you have just found out.

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.

When should a college athlete turn pro? Not until he has earned all he can in college as an amateur.

A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.

Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators.

Do the best you can, and don’t take life too serious.

Why don’t they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as prohibition did, in five years Americans would be the smartest race of people on Earth.

The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, ‘How is the president?’

Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.

Things in our country run in spite of government, not by aid of it.

Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.

I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.

People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.

Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.

Make crime pay. Become a lawyer.

It isn’t what we don’t know that gives us trouble, it’s what we know that ain’t so.

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.

I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

Last year we said, ‘Things can’t go on like this’, and they didn’t, they got worse.

It’s not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.

Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to vote on some man; we never get to vote on what he is to do.