Top 95 Witty Quotes

Witty, adventurous guys really rev my engine.

My instinct is to surround myself with the company of wise, witty, wonderful women, and I have a great bank of female friends of all ages.

I love John Updike immoderately. I am profoundly shocked that he has gone because he was, for me, the greatest American writer of the second half of the 20th century. He was also a gracious, charming, and witty man.

I’ve been enjoying ‘Life on the Mississippi’ by Mark Twain that I picked up at the airport randomly. It’s very witty and interesting to read about his time as a steamboat pilot.

I wouldn’t even dare read the Torah, let alone attempt a witty observation on the Torah.

There’s no possibility of being witty without a little ill-nature.

I had a lot of survival jobs. One was for the Witty Ditty singing-telegram company. I was in the red-and-white stripes with the straw boater hat and kazoo. Balloons. Even when you’re sleeping on a friend’s couch, you have to pay some kind of rent.

Better a witty fool than a foolish wit.

A witty saying proves nothing.

Your wit makes others witty.

I might’ve been witty, but I didn’t have a shtick. So, I never considered myself a comedian.

Music has shaped men’s fashion, and transposed in a playful and witty manner its riding or military heritage. It is difficult to figure out who leads, but music and fashion are connected genetically.

There weren’t any funny people in sports or the Spanish club. All the really creative, witty, funny people that made your belly hurt were in the theater program.

Antonin Scalia was witty, warm, funny, and full of life. He was not only one of the most important justices in the nation’s history; he was also among the greatest.

If you fight angry, you make a lot of mistakes, and when you fight a sharp, witty fighter like me, you can’t make mistakes.

I know Toby Jones very well, we’ve done yoga together in the past and get on very well. He’s a fantastic actor, but also extremely good company, very witty, and smart.

I love Stephen Fry. His tweets are witty, poignant, and intelligent.

I never cared for fashion much, amusing little seams and witty little pleats: it was the girls I liked.

Bill Gallagher’s new version of ‘The Prisoner’ is an enthralling commentary on modern culture. It is witty, intelligent and disturbing. I am very excited to be involved.

I’ve carried witty banners against laws that would curtail my freedoms.

I seem to get into situations that make people laugh, but I don’t consider myself that funny of a person. I’m not witty. I’m kind of slow in conversations. I’m not that articulate with jokes. The first time I made stuff and screened it for an audience, I was surprised what people were laughing at.

All my brothers and sisters are really witty, and I would just sit back and enjoy them.

The middle class is doing fine in fiction. But it’s not what gets me going. I love the working class, and everyone from it I’ve met, and think they’re incredibly witty, inventive – there’s a lot of poetry there.

Next to being witty, the best thing is being able to quote another’s wit.

I’m neurotic by nature, but I’m wary of becoming more of a play than a comic – you don’t want people coming to see a man having a breakdown for two hours. I’d prefer them coming to hear my astute and witty observations.

A woman may have a witty tongue or a stinging pen but she will never laugh at her own individual shortcomings.

Queen Elizabeth is reserved when she meets strangers – but with friends and family she can be very witty.

Most of my mannerisms come from my Mum, who is quite a funny, witty, chatty person. My Dad was very shy.

My lines are witty in nature and I love to be surrounded by people who are witty.

I most enjoyed doing ‘Whites,’ a show BBC2 cancelled after one series. It had some beautiful, witty, charming scripts and was one of the most positive ensemble pieces I’ve done. I thought the end result was really special. I’m still confused about why it didn’t last longer.

When I imagine feminine characters in my songs, they’re often bold, strong, passionate, militant, witty, sensual, dangerous. I see those characters as skillful witnesses, figures of change and awakening.

I’ve worked a lot with Noah Baumbach, and he doesn’t make it easy to like his characters, but the stories are funny and witty and there’s an edge to that kind of humanity.

Music can be witty, but it’s not funny unless it’s conceptually funny.

A lot of people think that, as a person, Nawazuddin Siddiqui is very serious. However, he is very funny and witty. Once he opens up with you, he can be the funniest person around.

I like Kendrick as an artist. He’s witty and he’s smart when he’s spitting in his lyrics. And he’s crafty.

You are wise, witty and wonderful, but you spend too much time reading this sort of stuff.

Be completely honest – have you ever met someone who you thought was truly clever or interesting or witty who wore fawn?

Witty inspirations are the proverbs of the educated.

Some BuzzFeed articles are written by smart people who use complete sentences. Some of the disposable lists are witty and appear to have taken some effort to put together.

My goal was becoming the next David Copperfield. I learned how to be a performer by emulating him as a kid – his formula of just talking to people onstage, being free to improvise, being charming and witty with a crowd, together with great, beautiful magic.

There is still a lot to be said for the well-made, witty, clever, three-act comedy.

I just wanted to make good music that people related to me and said ‘Yo that guy makes good music. When he gives us an effort, it’s good music behind it. It’s great lyrics, it’s witty punchlines, it’s great metaphors.’

I get the impression the English kings were witty, for some reason. I feel like all you had was your wit.

No woman can be handsome by the force of features alone, any more that she can be witty by only the help of speech.

To be witty is not enough. One must possess sufficient wit to avoid having too much of it.

It is easier to be a lover than a husband for the simple reason that it is more difficult to be witty every day than to say pretty things from time to time.

People who can’t be witty exert themselves to be devout and affectionate.

My senior year of high school, I was voted ‘Wittiest.’ So, several years later, I decided to try my hand at writing humor to see if I could be witty enough to make some money.

Stephen Sondheim is calculus for actors. The words are witty and brilliant and profound but complicated.

Generally speaking, there is more wit than talent in the world. Society swarms with witty people who lack talent.

I didn’t even realize I was writing songs – I thought I was just being witty and sarcastic.

It’s a weakness of mine to forget what it is I’ve just been talking about so that when people make witty allusions to it, I stare at them open-mouthed, not knowing what they’re talking about.

The witty woman is a tragic figure in American life. Wit destroys eroticism and eroticism destroys wit, so women must choose between taking lovers and taking no prisoners.

I really started to enjoy Instagram more recently because it’s something that shows people what I’m doing and what I’m going through, but it’s so simple. I don’t have to come up with something witty; it’s just a funny photo, and you can be as artistic or as plain Jane as you want.

There is an element of seduction in shoes that doesn’t exist for men. A woman can be sexy, charming, witty or shy with her shoes.

My philosophy towards life is to enjoy it to the fullest and have fun. I am one of those ‘laugh-out-loud’ kinds. I am quirky, yet witty.

There’s a real emphasis on being witty in Scotland, even in crime novels.

One movie I think is just terrific is ‘Bernie,’ with Jack Black and Shirley MacLaine. That was a great surprise to me – so witty, so entertaining, a true story, and I’m not a great Jack Black fan, but he’s great in it. I think it’s a gem.

I think I hang out with some pretty witty people, but we’re never that funny.

It was great fun to hang around the Beatles. They had amazingly fast minds, and they were incredibly amusing and funny and witty. They were great. There was a very high energy surrounding them.

A large nose is the mark of a witty, courteous, affable, generous and liberal man.

After New York, Chicago is my favorite city. It’s just this great mix of Europe and America. The friends I have there are smart and witty and fun.

I feel like there’s an obsession with pace right now in theater, with things being very fast and very witty and very loud, and I think we’re all so freaked out about theater keeping audiences interested because everybody’s so freaked out about theater becoming irrelevant.

I think Bridgerton’ transports you into a different world. It’s witty, vibrant, fun and sexy and yet its themes are relevant to the world we’re living in today.

The characters can’t be wittier than people are in real life. They have to be character witty.