Top 22 Jim Jefferies Quotes

I feel like, at times, I’ve been seen as the dirty stepchild of Australian comedy. I think there’s a few people out there that are pissed off that I made it big overseas.

I don’t believe in gun bans; that’s a fallacy that people have, that they think if you believe in gun control you want to ban guns. That’s not true.

After I had money, I realized about all that all the things I thought I wanted that I don’t need a lot of stuff. If there’s anything I get excited by, it’s a nice car.

Comedy comes out of everyone’s worst day. No one writes a sitcom episode about everyone having a good day. It’s always about someone being locked out of their house or someone being dumped or whatever.

I never do a whole new set of new material. I do one new joke at a time, and I wedge it in between two good jokes. Or if it’s a long story, I don’t do it in L.A. or New York; I do it in Kansas and Omaha, all these places I’m going this weekend.

I probably get a bit more backlash in Australia than I do in America, to be honest. I was never invited to the Melbourne Comedy Festival because I was too gross, things like that. Which never happened in any other country.

One of the flaws in the American dream is that there isn’t as much of a safety net as you may get in other countries.

You’ve got to gamble on yourself. If you don’t, no one else is going to. It’s very hard when you’re poor to turn down money. When you’ve got money, it’s easy. When you’re poor, you need money today. People take advantage of poor people.

The difference between comedians and the general public is that we are meant to be funnier. And when you’ve got politicians giving material so easy that the general public is doing it, what is the necessity of us anymore?

You can’t worry too much about what you think the audience wants to hear. You just have to hope that you’re a likeable enough person that what you’re saying will relate to other people, so they can laugh at it as well.

I always thought I was a good person, a decent person. I never harassed anyone or touched anyone. And you say to yourself , ‘Oh, that’s good enough,’ but yes, I had certain jokes that I always assumed the audience would understand. This is Persona.

A lot of my stand-up early on was stories from my childhood. And my childhood is over – there’s not new childhood stories to come. They’ve all been mentioned.

I don’t think that I am a Lefty in the sense that I grew up in countries that have a universal health-care system, but I also think that I’m a little Right in other directions. I also think that – in regards to the whole health-care thing – that yeah, they should repeal and replace Obamacare with universal health care.

I don’t think I’m particularly good with money, but I have made some.

Nixon started auditing late-night show hosts because they were making jokes about him. Then, every single one of their staff got tax audits.

The thing where I thought I made it was when I paid my house off. It wasn’t actually a moment on stage – it was the first bit of financial security. It was the first time I looked at my house, and it was all paid off, and I thought, ‘Alright. Jokes paid for this.’

There’s a fallacy with stand up comedy, which is, people come up to comedians, and they go, ‘You say what I think but I’m not brave enough to say,’ and that’s not particularly true.

I still like to shock, but the jokes are less sexist. It’s just that, at one point in my stories, there was some sense of pride, some enthusiasm, and now I’m just embarrassed by myself.

My girlfriend buys stuff from Trader Joe’s, and it’s just subpar. When you buy a burrito, it crumbles the way a proper burrito shouldn’t. Everything’s just crap there.

I’m not a big Trump fan. I’m not going to lie to anyone and say I am.

People don’t get angry at you for shock value. People get angry at you when you affect something that is at their core, whether it be guns or religion or whatever. Their belief system.

I do enjoy having researchers and writers around me because I am getting a lot of different influences now from the opposite sex, different races, people of different ages, who are helping write the routines. So I am seeing things from other people’s perspectives, which I never really had to do before.