Words matter. These are the best George Burns Quotes, and they’re great for sharing with your friends.
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
At my age flowers scare me.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
I don’t believe in dying. It’s been done. I’m working on a new exit. Besides, I can’t die now – I’m booked.
It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
You’ve got to be honest; if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
It’s good to be here. At 98, it’s good to be anywhere.
I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.
How can I die? I’m booked.
The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
Don’t stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.
I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.
I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.
You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.
I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.
If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.
Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.
Be quick to learn and wise to know.
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.
