Top 130 Screwed Quotes

The first year I was sober was probably the worst year of my life. My immune system was screwed. I completely isolated myself. I was weak all the time. I didn’t know who I was.

Some of the funniest people I know are not screwed up in the head.

If you watch a guy go out on court and have a meltdown, you’re not going to think, ‘Oh my God, now I’m screwed.’ Or you’re not going to think, ‘The umpire’s going to give him calls because he’s just told him he’s an idiot or the pits of the world.’

When you screw up in the ring, it’s so embarrassing. But the fans don’t know you screwed up unless you act like you just made a mistake.

I think my dad did legal work for someone who had a Packard Bell 8088, and they couldn’t pay him, so they gave him a computer. I was initially not allowed to touch it, but that didn’t last long. I started tinkering with it, and there were many times I screwed up the computer.

I admire Jodie Foster. Her head is screwed on really well. It’s not loose at all.

There are so many traps, so many ways of getting screwed in this business.

I’ve screwed up a lot, but I’ve always admitted it.

The great equalizer is health. If you don’t have it, you’re screwed.

I’ve got my own philosophy. People who write books have different philosophies. You read too many people and you get screwed up.

No, I don’t think ‘The Wire’ screwed up my career at all.

Men get laid, but women get screwed.

My children are the thing that make life work because, you know, I screwed up my life, and I know it was me, and it was really hard because it was so public, and that was very, very hard.

It’s the results that are surprising, even results where we’ve totally screwed up, and then learned something in the process, are the ones that stand out. Having our preconceptions overturned is actually thrilling for us.

I didn’t want to be the guy who screwed up ‘Toy Story.’

I live about five hours away from a Whole Foods and Trader Joe’s, so I have to make extra sure that I get everything I need, otherwise I’m totally screwed.

When I die, if the word ‘thong’ appears in the first or second sentence of my obituary, I’ve screwed up.

Of course, screwed up families are not the exclusive province of the famous. Still, most families get to screw up in private.

Or if I have my head in the results, I can’t work with what I have, because I’m trying to force something to happen. And with singing, any time you force it, you tighten up. If you tighten up, you’re screwed, nothing will work.

There’s tons of people with talent; it’s the system that’s all screwed up.

The thing that is incredibly helpful is that we screen the movies and we ask the audience if they like it or not and we ask a lot of questions and do testing on the movies. For comedies, at least, it’s very helpful. If they’re not laughing and they don’t say that they loved it, then I have screwed up.

The teachers are getting screwed, blued, and tattooed by the system.

The whole industry is so screwed up by economics. It’s disgusting to me.

I think you can meet the right girl at the wrong time, and it gets screwed up. If you meet the right girl at the wrong time, that girl has to be the most understanding person in the world because there’s going to be a lot more bumps in the road.

Most actors I know come from a screwed up background, so it makes sense that if you can walk on to a space and recreate your reality, then that’s the place that will become very dear.

I didn’t really want to be a movie star. I thought they were so screwed up!

I’ve always been unhappy with my teeth. I’ve lost most of them from my bottom jaw, and those in the upper jaw have been screwed in or capped. As a result, I’ve got great hollows under my cheeks, and my bone structure seems accentuated.

If I lead my life according to someone else, I’ve screwed my life up.

For an author, the nice characters aren’t much fun. What you want are the screwed up characters. You know, the characters that are constantly wondering if what they are doing is the right thing, characters that are not only screwed up but are self-tapping screws. They’re doing it for themselves.

I think Jim got screwed. I think Jim Bakker would have been a great preacher. Jim Bakker was very good at what he did.

I’m aggressive, quite frankly, because Staten Island gets screwed all the time. And if I’m not aggressive, then I won’t be successful. That’s not being a bad boy. That’s doing my job.

No one leaves the edit room thinking, ‘Yeah, I nailed that one!’ Everyone I know goes into their first premiere or their first screening thinking, ‘I screwed up so bad. I’m sorry, I messed up.’ It’s just a real common feeling.

There’s no such thing as an easy role. Every part, you take it lightly and it will get screwed.

There are people getting screwed in our country every single second, minute, hour of the day. And if by our work, we can decrease that number, we’ll make a difference; we’ll be doing our jobs.

I detest computers. If you had a device like that 30 years ago that froze up constantly, misbehaved constantly, lost your information and screwed up when you needed it the most, it would have been laughable.

Posturing is counterproductive. Posturing only works if things are screwed up.

It’s great that I get accused of not being politically correct. People need to take themselves less seriously. This world is so screwed up as it is, we’ve all got to relax a bit more.

I feel like I couldn’t have screwed up that bad as a dad, because I have a pretty good relationship with both of my kids.

People focus on the darker female characters in my books, but for every one of those, I can also show you an equally screwed up man that no one ever comments about, or a nicer woman that no one comments about. I don’t feel like that’s my specialty.

That’s what makes a character interesting from an actor’s perspective – the more screwed up, the better.

I’m focused on bringing real change to Washington because the career politicians have screwed things up so badly.

I remember trying so hard to get into Bon Iver. I’d lie in bed listening with my eyes screwed up, like, ‘This is just depressing me.’

I think there’s something inherently interesting in the Monday morning quarterback: the guy who, you know, sits at one end of the briefing room and tells everyone what they should’ve done and how they’ve screwed up.

A person should not be too honest. Straight trees are cut first and honest people are screwed first.

It took me a long time to get my life screwed up, and it’s going to take a long time to get it back.

When I tried to play something and screwed up, I’d hear some other note that would come into play. Then I started trying different things to find the beauty in it.

Well, I screwed it up real good, didn’t I?

My dad, in the best way possible – not in an intimidating way, but with the physically intimidating qualities that every father has – can truly be scary. The only time you saw that side of him, the raw side of him, would be in a moment when you truly were the one that screwed up.

The real trick to these movies and making the big action sequences work – and I’ve forgotten this sometimes and screwed it up – the characters really have to be humanized. Because you can have the greatest special effects in the world, but if you don’t care about the people in those effects, there’s no impact.

I watched the guy that hits a home run, and he comes across the plate and he points skyward, like thanking for the help from the Almighty to hit the home run. And as he does that, I say to myself, ‘God screwed the pitcher.’ And I don’t know how else you look at it.

All my movies got screwed up because of my personality.

In the recovery world, it’s a higher power that helps you. You have to turn your life over to something greater. Anytime I tried to control my life, I had screwed it up.

My head was – I wasn’t screwed up, but I feel like I was shifted away from my family a lot with this basketball stuff. You have people coming around you saying they are family or whatever. They try to keep you away from your real family. That kind of got me.

It’s funny; I actually made poorer decisions when I sobered up then when I was screwed up.

I said, ‘Maz, if I hadn’t screwed up that Game 7, you wouldn’t be in the Hall of Fame.’

Holly Holm – before she fought Ronda, the fights were never that great. It was like, ‘Yeah, she’s screwed against Ronda!’ Well, what they were doing is they were kind of playing opossum, just waiting for the big shot.

I was drinking so much coffee and Red Bull just to keep going it screwed me.

I know I screwed up my ‘Godzilla.’

I can’t imagine that anybody is as screwed up as I am.

They screwed up ‘Raise the Titanic!’ so badly, I stay away from Hollywood. I won’t cheat my readers with another piece of crap.

The characters I’ve played that I like the most are people that have a lot of obstacles. They have a lot of bad things going on. They’re seeking to do something good amidst all the detritus around them, and they’re aware of how badly they’ve screwed it up. That kind of self-awareness is tragic.