There are a lot of veterans out there who would not think their wounds would be the source of poor jokes in bad taste to a hysterically laughing audience.
I have this very abstract idea in my head. I wouldn’t even want to call it stand-up, because stand-up conjures in one’s mind a comedian with a microphone standing onstage under a spotlight telling jokes to an audience. The direction I’m going in is eventually, you won’t know if it’s a joke or not.
Watching an adaptation of your novel can be a violent experience: seeing your old jokes suddenly thrust at you can be alarming. But I started to enjoy ‘Money’ very quickly, and then I relaxed.
I live right next to a grocery store and I don’t know if it’s the bachelor in me, but I just go in and shop for what I need for the day. I’m an idiot because I don’t shop for the whole week. The check out clerks always crack jokes about the fact that I’m in there sometimes twice a day.
Everybody in my family had a real sick, twisted sense of humor. Most of the jokes we make in our house, we would just never even dream of making anywhere else. Just sick, horrible stuff. That wasn’t anything new to college.
There were two things I used to do to seduce girls: jokes and music. Since I’m not a great pianist, jokes were my thing.
When I was starting out, I was just bringing a garbage bag of jokes onstage, pulling them out like, ‘What about this? No? Alright.’ I was just trying to be funny about anything.
I don’t consider myself a comedian because I don’t really concern myself too much with jokes.
Our fans often tell us that they see themselves in us. The relationship between the guys in Broken Lizard rings a bell with them, because they have their own little friend groups, with their own complex dynamics, and their own private jokes.
I loved doing ‘The Family’ with Eunice and Mama. They were very interesting because there were no jokes written into those sketches. It was all character-driven. And sometimes it got a little heavy.
I was the kid who always hung back and then dropped the jokes when you least expected it. Timing was everything. My mouth sort of developed over time.
I reserve the right to tell shaggy dog stories or even common jokes as part of what I’m doing. I don’t give a damn if half the audience walks out.
I care more about making sure the story is correct and the characters are behaving in character than I do about the individual jokes.
Sometimes we have to actually say, I think you’re really funny, but none of your jokes are going to make it on the air. So just answer my questions. Seriously.
I never really feel like just standing there and telling jokes. I want to move around. In fact, it’s hard for me to write a joke where I don’t end up on the ground for some reason. Hey, at least that way, I know no comics will steal my jokes. Too many bruises.
I am a crazy online shopper. My husband always jokes, ‘Another box arrived!’ Airplanes used to be my sanctuary for reading books, but now I have to peruse Gilt sales.
I don’t want to see people decorating a house or digging a garden. As for guys like Jonathan Ross, he got an award there last Christmas. What for? He doesn’t sing, dance or tell jokes, does he?
I need a woman to have a quirky sense of humor. There’s a bunch of jokes I use, and if she doesn’t get them, she’s probably not for me.
There’s a glorious sense of freedom in comedy, just allowing myself to tell jokes, allowing myself to interrupt myself and tell old African folk stories that I made up – or didn’t – and Jamaican stories.
I don’t know if I necessarily fit in the action-thriller genre, but I’d love to do something where I could actually kick some butt and then tell a few jokes. That would be awesome! That would be my dream job.
Humor has the tendency to be funny once. If I tell you a joke, we’re going to have a big laugh. But the second time I tell the joke, it’s going to be a bit strange, and the third time you’re going to ask if there’s something wrong with me. So I am very cautious with jokes, but there is a lightness in my work.
A lot of the jokes had some build-up to some nasty stuff. But most of it was all character situations leading to what the ultimate payoff would be for that character.
There’s a difference between hiring writers and stealing jokes.
People always talk about my heel/face turns. One of the jokes in America is I’ve had more turns than NASCAR.
Comedy has bits, has jokes, has stories, and it has characters.
I enjoy jokes, smiling, and making people smile. I may be a little different, but that’s OK, who wants to be normal anyway?
Dwarves are still the butt of jokes. It’s one of the last bastions of acceptable prejudice.
Honest good humor is the oil and wine of a merry meeting, and there is no jovial companionship equal to that where the jokes are rather small and laughter abundant.
I only have eight jokes, but I can do ’em over a two-hour period of time.
My dad always jokes that we should have a reality TV show because my friends and I pull crazy stunts, like putting Saran Wrap on the toilet.
I love jokes that come out of nowhere. The ones where people look at the screen and go, ‘What the Hell was that.’ As long as it somehow ties back into the story, somehow.
You can’t just yell jokes at people.
I think jokes can actually go to places that drama can’t.
Writing your own jokes, you just kind of keep working on something until you think it might work, and then you try it out and hope for the best.
Pulled pork jokes never get old.
Sometimes when I try to make jokes or have a sense of humor in interviews, it doesn’t go over very well. But Twitter made my life easier in this way that I didn’t expect. It would have taken probably 10 times as long for people to accept my voice and my sense of humor if I didn’t have Twitter.
I never feel like it’ll be something where like, ‘Aha, I’ve got it. I’m funny for the rest of my life. I don’t need to tell jokes anymore. I just am comedy.’
I’m not built for war. I’m built for entertainment. I’m built for jokes – either telling them or being the butt of them.
I think you make better jokes when you don’t break logic for the joke, unless you make a movie just about jokes.
I’m just not the outgoing bubble of energy. But if I know you, it’s different. Practical jokes. Have fun. I’m not looking for any new friends. I got my friends.
The grass, the sound of the ball, the jokes with my teammates – that’s what I will miss most. That is what fulfills you most on a daily basis.
The jokes I was always attracted to, and that I would tell for the longest, were jokes where I cared about the subject. Whenever I wrote a joke where I didn’t care, even if it was really funny, the third time I told it, it would lose steam.
I’m always trying to make myself laugh. I’m the most enthusiastic audience I’m likely to find, so if it doesn’t make me smile then it probably won’t work on you. The jokes that only make me shrug get cut.
One of the marvelous things about Churchill is that whatever he was doing, whether fighting or arguing or despairing or bouncing about full of energy, jokes are never far away.
People get so heated about it and can’t see the funny side, I think. And plus, everything’s been said. It must be really difficult to come up with new jokes about Brexit.
The most fun I ever have is sitting in with Rick writing, and we laugh at our own jokes.
Awards shows have devolved into self-parodies – liberals in limos, corny insider jokes delivered by the hosts among bad teleprompter reading from the some of the best thespians on the planet.
If you do a joke that’s really old, then what happens is people on Reddit and Twitter just go, ‘Real original, you’re just doing old jokes!’ But bands do it all the time.
I don’t think of my songs as sad songs. I think of them as vulnerable and honest. I crack jokes in between songs, so people don’t leave feeling too dark.
On the set I make jokes I can’t get too involved, or it turns into sentimental soup. I try to keep it light.
I don’t laugh so much at jokes and premises as I do at a guy who goes onstage and starts twitching and acting funny.
When I do retire, I will miss the trips with the team, the jokes with my teammates, the habits: having breakfast with them, playing with them, all the little things.
Years ago, I was always serious, and now I chuckle and make jokes to create a calm environment because ‘WrestleMania’ can be a high-pressure atmosphere.
When I make a film, the yardstick is my mind. If I laugh at the jokes and feel sad at the serious undersides, then the subject works.
Standup comedy was my weird hobby. I would drag my poor parents out to the only open mics that were in coffee shops instead of bars. I’d get up and go, ‘Hi, I’m 17, and I have jokes about matriculation!’ At the time I was like, ‘Why is no one laughing?’
I’ve seen Don Rickles up at the Montreal Comedy Festival. Don Rickles was doing jokes in a wheelchair, and he was headlining a show. Do you think they would let a woman do that?
I tell jokes, chat with people, and make stuff.
I don’t consider myself a comic but a performer. A comic tells bad jokes.
There’s always something at least a little smug about self-reference – magazine articles about idealistic journalists, TV shows about TV actors, ironic films within ironic-er films: all this meta-media populated by thinly disguised characters making oblique inside jokes.
