Well, the coffeehouse audiences never know what they’re going to get, and all the comics are different, as opposed to when you go to a club, and they’re pretty much all telling jokes with set-ups and punchlines. Coffeehouse audiences are the most forgiving: They really listen, which is the best part.
The storyboard artists job is to plan out shot for shot the whole show, write all the dialog, and decide the mood, action, jokes, pacing, etc of every scene.
I’m just a regular boy who goofs around, pulls pranks, and makes jokes. I’m not Mr. Debonair Suave. I’m just a regular boy who goofs around, pulls pranks, and makes jokes. That doesn’t sound very hot to me.
The thing is that Chuck Schumer, for all his power and influence, is a pretty pathetic figure. You go around New York State, and people make jokes about him and talk about how he shows up at the New York State Fair and has a staffer carrying a big sign saying ‘Come meet Chuck Schumer.’
We only ever write jokes that amuse us.
I don’t let a lot of people know about my dad dying on 9/11. It’s not a way to introduce yourself. So I never told anybody, and then I would do jokes about it… and I think people thought I was lying about it. Which would be crazy!
Octavia Spencer rocks. But just as a human being, she’s so down-to-earth. Talk about being pleasantly surprised. You walk onto set, and she’s making these jokes, and she’s playing around with the cast and the crew, and she invited all to her house for a dinner party. She’s just a genuinely good person.
People appreciate it when you take some time to think about who will be listening to your jokes.
I think David Letterman is a genius. Night after night he is funny and smart. He seems to really enjoy his jokes. They seem connected to who he really is. I like watching him, and there is no one better at turning an awkward moment into something very funny.
My driver Kellie Frost and I would race these fellows home and they were always faster on the highway. We did the same with Daniel and his driver, and thus began a long series of jokes and competitions to alleviate the impossible hours and tensions this film provoked.
I suppose the common idea of me is that I’m going to be someone who’s hyper and cracking jokes all the time, but people who meet me are soon disabused of that notion.
I was always the guy who made jokes and ribbed people at parties. After I went to the American Academy of Dramatic Arts I got sidetracked into clubs and started doing comedy.
The hardest people to play in front of are my brothers and friends from childhood, because I can never take them seriously. I know when they’re sitting in the stands; it’s constant jokes. They’re just waiting on me to shoot an air ball or dribble the ball off my foot so they can laugh.
My dad is a really funny guy, and we would make jokes about my leukemia. When my friends would come over, we would joke about it, too.
A serious and good philosophical work could be written consisting entirely of jokes.
I do get text messages from people with sick jokes on when something terrible has happened. I don’t read them; they make me ill. But it does happen, and I’m sure I’m not the only person who gets them.
I actually like jokes as well as things that are sort of fun.
Jokes apart, people are constantly asking me, ‘What are you doing for the industry?’ When one makes a blockbuster, you plough back money into the industry. If my film makes 100 crore, I’m not taking the entire sum home! It gets distributed between the exhibitors, distributors, producers and actors.
I remember seeing Letterman do stand-up on ‘The Tonight Show.’ Or, it’s probably more accurate to say, I remember hearing him do stand-up, because the Carson show existed mainly as sound leaking under my bedroom door at night. I’d hear Johnny telling jokes and my dad laughing at them.
The Comedy Central CDs combined with the TV specials are what led to my stuff being traded and passed around, and a lot more people knowing my jokes than I thought.
I have about 1,000 hours of myself on tape in a vault in Los Angeles. But I also have a photographic memory about my jokes, because they’re really about me; they’re my stories.
The jokes are great but what really matters for a comedian is his performance, his whole attitude, and the laughs that he gets between the jokes rather than on top of the jokes.
My dog was with me all the time. I talked to my dog. She was my best buddy. I shared all my secrets with her, but I don’t think I every really tried jokes out with the dog.
I never get tired of ‘It Was A Good Day’ references or jokes or anything like that. It’s just, you know, keeping my biggest hit alive. Nothing wrong with that.
I don’t really care for, like, fat jokes about women, specifically.
The way I toe the line with comedy is I run jokes past people.
As a comedian, frankly, I don’t care that much about bad jokes.
I get the privilege to play with Mesut every day. He is a world-class player. He gives me advice in a different way. He jokes around but he always tells me I can do more. He also gives me the confidence to express myself.
My parents are really funny. Laughter was a big part of my childhood. Of course, they tell a lot of bad jokes – but so do I. I tell a lot of bad jokes.
I don’t care what the haters and naysayers say. If they make jokes about me, I’ll laugh because they’ll probably be funny.
Jokes are very curious things psychologically.
When it comes to African Americans and African American actors, Hollywood has always felt that if you can make us laugh, that’s fine, but we don’t need to see you do a ‘Schindler’s List,’ where there’s no jokes or music or comedic through-line.
I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once.
A girl can tell I like her when I blush or start telling bad jokes.
I guess my idea of a good audience is one that’s quiet and listens, but also that’s alive: they respond, they’re getting the jokes, they’re with me. And that’ s been happening.
I’m sure there are comedians who make jokes about me, but say something funny, not mean.
I can tell jokes. I can talk to the audience. I can relax. I can change my songs whenever I want. I can change the tempos. I can change the mood, because I’m in charge.
We adore babies because they’re so cute. And, of course, we are amused by jokes because they are funny. This is all backwards. It is. And Darwin shows us why.
When generally people make race-based jokes to me – even if they’re not technically racist, they’re sort of based on me being Pakistani or whatever – on Twitter, you know, I block a lot of people who say something weird about my name or something. It does bug me generally, but it is all about context.
I’m not big on fat jokes. That’s a little beneath me. I’m not a huge fan of making a joke – and as I say this, I’m sure I do it – completely at someone else’s expense.
The White Company offers its loyalists an altogether better, whiter world. The White people have edited out any colours that aren’t white, off-white, milk chocolate, grey, taupe or black. They can’t be doing with Johnnie Boden’s cheery Sloane jokes, his spots and stripes, his occasional ‘if it’s me, it’s U’ loud colours.
I have no idea what my best material is. Different people like different things. I’ll say this: The political stuff gets the press, but the relationship jokes sell all the seats.
Question Time’ is a nice forum for reasoned political debate. There’s no point having me on there trying to crack jokes.
Jokes are grievances.
When I was 14, I thought I was the coolest kid in school because I told everyone the jokes in FHM.
When you are in a room and your job is to write jokes 10 hours a day, your mind starts going to strange places.
If you think something’s funny, go with that. Most comedians pull jokes from a place of honesty.
There’s a million jokes about what’s going on with Batman and Robin. It’s a classic thing to call out the homoerotic nature of the men’s adventure show.
I think ‘Family Guy’ and ‘American Dad’ have definitely staked out their own style and territory, and now the accusations are coming that ‘The Simpsons’ is taking jokes from ‘Family Guy.’ And I can tell you, that ain’t the case.
One nice thing about making jokes is that you don’t have to prove them.
I don’t do Jewish stuff because I don’t want people to be left out. If I mention the Torah in Alabama, it’s not going to go down that well. I used to do some Jewish jokes because when I started, I used to play lots of Jewish country clubs.
I have five boys in the family, and it’s constant competition, sport, humor, and practical jokes.
The great thing about writing jokes for President Obama is that he is not afraid to tell jokes that are actually funny – and not just funny for a politician.
Jokes that are gratuitously offensive are synonymous with bad writing to me. I’m offended as a writer first and as a person second.
