I got an email saying we were nominated for a Grammy, and I instantly thought it was a joke. So I started Googling the nominees, and there we were!
I only became a celebrity because I had a kid. Before I was pregnant nobody cared. I joke to my agent that having a baby made my career.
Prior to ‘Tokyo Drift,’ the iconic perception of Asians in Hollywood films has been either the Kung Fu guy, the Yakuza guy or some technical genius. It used to be such a joke, to be laughed at rather than with.
It may sound surprising, but a joke and a crime novel work in very much the same way. The comedian/writer leads their audience along the garden path. The audience know what’s coming, or at least they think they do until they get hit from a direction they were not expecting.
People always joke that ‘dog’ spells ‘god’ backwards. They should consider that it might be the higher power coming down to see just how well they do, what kind of people they are. The animals are right here, right in front of us. And how we treat these companions is a test.
We didn’t have electricity when I was a kid. We had to watch TV by candlelight. No, that’s a silly joke.
I’ll think of the idea and then I’ll write something down, then within that there will be a joke or two which is the original thing which I thought was funny.
If I think something’s funny, I try to mold it into a joke as soon as possible. Once I have a joke, I say it a million different ways on stage until I find a rhythm and it feels like it’s as good as it can be.
When you’re in the editing room, the dangerous thing is that it becomes like telling a joke again and again and again. Eventually, the joke starts to not be funny. So you have to be careful that you’re not throwing the baby out with the bath water.
Fashion is kinda a joke. I don’t get too bogged down in the clothes. For me, it’s one big art project, just a canvas to show that fashion should have a brand which has someone behind it who cares about different contexts. Social things.
The idea of what’s acceptable and what’s shocking, that’s where I investigate. I mean, you can’t be on ‘Top Gear,’ where your only argument is that it’s all just a joke and anyone who takes offence is an example of political correctness gone mad, and then not accept the counterbalance to that.
The moment you think of a joke is the best moment.
Louis CK knows that just because a joke is using space as a resource instead of something to be crammed like a hamper, this doesn’t mean a story isn’t happening.
I come from a town of great musicians: Washington, D.C. It’s no joke, that history.
One time when somebody showed up in a wedding dress, but I never knew if it was a joke, or she was serious. She asked me to marry her. She was serious. It was pretty funny.
My writers on ‘Liv And Maddie’ have started a running joke to try and sneak as many ‘literally’s into the script as they can to throw me.
Do you want me to apologize after every joke? If it doesn’t offend somebody it’s probably not a joke. It’s probably an observation that’s not funny. It’s gotta offend somebody somewhere.
I’m pretty equal opportunity when it comes to issues to joke about.
Gene Autry was the most. It may sound like a joke – Go and have a look in my bedroom, It’s covered with Gene Autry posters. He was my first musical influence.
I’ve always liked a good joke that everybody can laugh at.
The coming-of-age story has sort of become a joke. It’s something to capitalize on, and that is painful because when you are coming of age – when you are going through something like that – the genre is so meaningful.
I tell my audiences today that I served 10 years in Nashville! That’s a joke, of course; I was grateful for the work. Bob Ferguson, who produced Connie Smith, Porter Wagoner and Dolly Parton, started calling me in.
The world is indeed comic, but the joke is on mankind.
I was watching tennis on TV, and between games, they were showing a commercial for a tennis school. I wrote down the number, gave it to my mom, and said, ‘This is what I want to do.’ She thought it was a joke, but I was very stubborn, and I kept bringing it up.
I think we’re the only jokeless show on television. I mean really, we have no setups and no punch lines. It’s not a joke show. There are funny lines and funny moments but again the comedy is born of the human experience and awkward pauses are a great part of what it is to be human.
I used to joke that if acting didn’t work out, poetry was my commonsense fallback.
I don’t know how to tell a joke. I never tell jokes. I can tell stories that happened to me… anecdotes. But never a joke.
I used to have this joke: ‘Every hallway is a runway.’
Barack Obama is like the old joke about boats. The two best days of owning a boat are the day you buy it and the day you sell it.
I always enjoy conversation more if there is some substance to it – which is a just incredibly hilarious thing for me to say because for many, many years I was the guy whose only contribution to any conversation was, ‘There was a funny ‘Simpson’s’ joke about that.’
I always thought of Levittown as a joke.
Historically, Heathrow has been something of a joke, outweighed by its excellent connections. We have to aspire to having an airport at Heathrow with two runways which is a world-class airport. It’s a big challenge.
Ten comics can say the same joke, and I’m the one who gets called a thief.
Death’s an old joke, but each individual encounters it anew.
I’ve heard every pie joke in the book. I’m still waiting for an original one.
To single out a particular group and say we can’t make a joke about them is almost a form of prejudice and it’s kind of patronizing.
I sometimes joke, Paula, even paranoid people have enemies.
In the second grade, I would just get bored and a joke would pop into my head and I would have to say it. It was almost like I had some brilliant novel in my head that I had to get down, and I would interrupt class all the time and get in trouble.
I love funny people, and when I’m with funny people, or people who are amusing in their weirdness, I love it. Because that to me is funny, as opposed to someone who stops and says, ‘Hey let me tell you a joke.’
When I become the village idiot, or at least, it starts to become a joke, you can’t do that much longer.
I have a comic character – my sister said that I’m the victim of every joke I tell.
A joke is a joke. There’s an expression – I don’t know if you have it – that’s ‘adding insult to injury.’
The gods too are fond of a joke.
I intend to buy ‘The New York Times.’ Please don’t take it as a joke.
Yoga in America is a joke.
After a while, a joke, if you say it too much, just becomes contrived, or fake-sounding.
Even in my comedies, I don’t take anger as a joke. I think anger and laughter are very close to each other, when you think about it. One of the things I like about a character: I always think it’s fascinating when a character can turn on a dime and go from one emotion to another. I like watching that.
My least favorite joke right now is Donald Trump.
Chevy Chase and Bill Murray – we thought those guys were funny. We love Bill Murray, but we didn’t think they were right for Airplane! because it would step on the joke if there was a known comedian.
My joke, which isn’t really a joke, is that there will be one of two tours: the tour for the album that does well, or the tour for the album that stiffs.
I’m so absolutely pro-Denver. I wrote a fake hip-hop song about Denver. I’ve been claiming Denver. Part of the joke of the song is nobody was really claiming Denver – no rappers, no comedians.
I need your help. I am injured, near death, and too weak to hike out of here. I am all alone. This is no joke. In the name of God, please remain to save me. I am out collecting berries close by and shall return this evening. Thank you, Chris McCandless.
On Twitter, when someone would die, I would write a joke. Or if there’s a tragedy, I would write a joke and tweet it. That was my thing, and then at a certain point, people started demanding it.
Somebody from Pitchfork Festival wanted me to have a Microphones reunion. It’s a joke. It’s just me.
The thing that stand-up does for you is that it toughens you up a bit as far as the business goes. It’s hard. If a joke doesn’t get a laugh, that’s instant rejection. And that’s mostly what this business is most of the time: a lot of rejection.
I joke around a lot about the manic times because they’re funny. We manics do outrageous things and it is part of our colorful nature.
When my family all got together, I’d always get up and entertain everyone, but it was all a bit of a joke. My first real memory of singing for people was when I was about eleven or 12.
The joke I wanted to put into one of the promos for this new season, was to have a guy come up to me and say, Hey! Tony! I love your show, I’ve watched you every night since you started! And then I’d say, Ah! You’re the one!
I don’t believe in acting teachers for me, so it’s God’s joke that he gave me a best friend who’s an acting teacher.
You can read Kant by yourself, if you wanted to; but you must share a joke with someone else.
See, justice is a joke in this country, and it stinks of its hypocricy.
