To be or not to be. That’s not really a question.
Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain’t funny!
I think, on the rap side of life, I’ve always been inspired by and respected Missy Elliott for a long time. She’s funny and created an image for herself that was non-sexualized but was really interesting and really cool and really kind of avant-garde in a lot of ways.
I can’t prevent myself of being funny.
The first thing that I learned – and I understood it at a really young age – was that I could get a laugh. Really early. Because my mother and father are funny.
Don’t forget Mother’s Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad’s Third Wife Day.
I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
It’s funny how the music industry is enraged about the Internet and the way things are copied without being paid for. But you know why people steal the music? Because they can’t afford the music.
If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
What’s another word for Thesaurus?
People are funny, and in the most tragic situations, when comedy erupts from nowhere, it can turn on its head within the space of a second or a minute. You’re laughing one minute and you’re crying the next and that’s just life for me, and that is what people are like.
I’m, like, super-clumsy and weird and funny and dorky.
One funny thing is, though, I wear my watch on my right hand and I’m actually right-handed. People always wonder why – I don’t know myself, I’ve just always done it that way and I like it the way a good watch fits on my right wrist.
The best measure of a man’s honesty isn’t his income tax return. It’s the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.
One time I went into a restroom and a girl followed me in. I signed an autograph for her in the sink. It was pretty funny because she was in a guy’s restroom and she wasn’t embarrassed at all.
To label me an intellectual is a misunderstanding of what that is.
All my children inherited perfect pitch.
I think there’s something funny about people who laugh in the face of convention or surprise us morally.
They’re just jokes, people. They can’t all be funny.
There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.
I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty.
So, where’s the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?
I’d rather not have a moment when I’m known for my looks; being funny and interesting lasts longer.
I don’t know who the hell Paul Lynde is, or why he’s funny, and I prefer it to be a mystery to me.
I’m just not one of those naturally funny, relaxed actors who enjoy the spotlight and are so good at it.
I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I’m upside down.
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
Once you get past funny, my other qualities are so below average. It’s not like I’m handy.
If at first you don’t succeed… so much for skydiving.
If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.
I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.
I make a point to tweet out really funny comments I get on YouTube videos. I have the most ridiculous ones.
People think it’s funny that I enjoy dreaming so much. I just use it as a form of entertainment. It’s very private. I don’t see my dreams as separate. I mean, half the time I’m wandering around dreaming anyway.
From the first time I saw Sid Caesar be funny I knew that’s what I had to do.
Instant gratification takes too long.
People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading.
It’s a real primal thing, watching someone get hurt. It’s funny and accessible.
To me, what separates a funny movie from a good movie is something personal.
Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.
I’ve never met a funny person who wasn’t smart. I’ve met a lot of dramatic people who were stupid. But I’ve never met a funny person who wasn’t smart.
Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.
I think serial monogamy says it all.
I was just a goofy little funny kid, who was always getting sent to the principal. It wasn’t serious because I was smart. I wasn’t like a true troublemaker, just rambunctious – like, talkative and trying to be funny. That was me in middle-school.
When you see things upside down, the ego can be extraordinarily funny; it’s absurd. But it’s tragic at the same time.
I like marriage. The idea.
When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice.
I know there’s a CSI game. I’ve never seen it, though, so I’m not really sure. I hope it’s interesting. I hope that they’ve done a good job making it, but because I’ve never seen it, the jury is still out on whether it’s interesting or not. But it is funny to imagine that it’s been turned into a game.
Comedy is so subjective. You could be in a room with 400 people laughing at a joke and you could just not think it’s funny. You’re just sitting there like, ‘Am I in the twilight zone? Why is everyone laughing?’ It’s such a personal thing. People have such a personal visceral response to comedy.
Every man has his follies – and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.
The last time I saw him he was walking down lover’s lane holding his own hand.
People ask ‘do you make a conscious effort not to swear?’ – if you’re doing silly stuff you’re not tempted to put swearing in. All the comics from my childhood, who were funny without swearing, were the people that influenced me. What I do is quite traditional anyway.
My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.
I’ve seen many female comics that a lot of people haven’t heard of who are so funny, and I saw them come up, and they were working so hard, and then all of a sudden they had a baby, and they just got tied up in motherhood, and eventually, they kind of just stopped doing stand-up, and I thought it was such a shame.
Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be.
I don’t think I’m that funny.
When people are committed to things, and the world view they have is no longer in alignment with our world view, then it becomes funny.
No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.
Everyone has at least one story, and each of us is funny if we admit it. You have to admit you’re the funniest person you’ve ever heard of.
Reality continues to ruin my life.
I guess the producers saw me and knew I was literate and I always tried to be alert and it’s funny because you have to have a sharpness to do those shows, especially some of the ones I did in later years.
All my children inherited perfect pitch.
I have an unfortunate personality.
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
One advantage of talking to yourself is that you know at least somebody’s listening.
I have been working as an actor for 16-17 years now. The funny thing is I still feel awkward in communicating with the public as a star. It hasn’t been long since my drama ‘Goblin’ ended, and I’m looking forward for some time to rest.
What is funny is when you do a futuristic movie, you immediately get to be fashionable because you’re creating something that doesn’t exist.
The letters I really love are from young actresses who were worried they had to fit a certain look. They say I’ve opened it up. And I don’t just mean plus-size girls. You can push things now. With all the great performances in ‘Bridesmaids’, it changed how people see funny women.
Pete Davidson – he’s in the movie ‘Trainwreck.’ He has a small part in it. I told Lorne Michaels about him, said he was really funny.
It’s so funny, I’ve done so many projects where I’ve been interrogated. I guest starred on almost every hour drama, and I’m always the guy they think is the bad guy but then they find out is not.
I definitely started to perform a little bit in middle school, but not the typical musical/play route. I think that I am funny, but it was more of a social thing, where that was my part in my circle of friends.
I had paralyzing fear as a kid. I couldn’t watch horror movies, nothing. The funny thing is I got so sick of being afraid that I started doing it deliberately and instead of being afraid in my bed I would sit up on my bed and say, ‘ok, come on, show yourself, do it.’
Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else.
The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.
Censorship no longer works by hiding information from you; censorship works by flooding you with immense amounts of misinformation, of irrelevant information, of funny cat videos, until you’re just unable to focus.
All I know how to do is take what’s on my mind and spit it out funny. I don’t know what else I could do besides comedy.
I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.
I’ve grown up around some incredibly funny people, which has been a blessing and curse because now I’ve been completely spoiled in terms of what I find funny.
